What if I told you that today you are going to be losing your mother and your best friend. Probably I am being unrealistic or maybe not. Out of no where that 19 year old comes across a devastating news: My mother diagnosed with cancer. I cry my heart out.
The wounds of losing a dog, my maternal aunt and grandmother facing the same disease, my favourite cousin and dear scooter bruised terribly in an accident were still fresh.
For a while I stopped eating. I became incapable. I could not sense any sensation. But there was more.
Even though I had a few people to support I was looking forward to share my day in and day out with one. The one I considered the best pal. The partner in every crime. The one I tried a cigar with. The one I could rely on as a saviour.
But there she was to leave me a misunderstanding away. Could she not withhold me. Could she not see my state. I don’t think she could.
Another buddy I connected well with lost her gal bladder on my birthday. But the immense support she bestowed on me was incredible.
A friend I can say was helping due to inter dependence. Another one because she saw another friend of hers going through the actual pain of losing a mother because of this disease.
Despite these people the sense of loss still clouded my mind. Unlike my brother who was out I had to live in this situation and all escape failed.
My father is a very brave man. He supported every aspect my mother had to undergo during the treatment.
My family was with yet away from me. I was an alone child in a crowded home. Everyone had their own apprehensions and frankly I could never see much support.
I had to share space with a stranger cousin for she came to study.
Emotionally undergoing all of this and that too simultaneously have made me realise the importance of “the moment” I lived in. I know my parents, my family or I myself am not permanent.
Conquering fears take time. It may take a lifetime but every “moment” of it gave me an opportunity to go out there and tell the world “serenity is to accept the things I cannot change, courage is to change the things I can and wisdom is to know the difference”.