Its a family struggle against the mental patient and not just that of the patient.
Since, the little one contracted the soon to be common mental disease, Obsessive compulsive disorder, it buried the entire family under physical and massive emotional strain and got followed by an in repairable massive damage to each single person.
Yes much before the year of 2014, when it all began, we already had got a trailer of what this merciless mental game does but that year made me saw the other side of my yet rosy life. Frantic panic attacks to my oh so innocent lil brother, then constant visits to psychiatrists and the finale of suicide attempt and then the admission to psychiatric ward.
From then, the constant smell of bandages, medicines that accompanied and much intensified constant cries of fellow humans, abnormal behaviour, violent behaviour of my brother, the visits by nurse, counsellors, psychiatrists and innumerable relatives who came and gave their own mantras to my brother which may provide a bit solace to him and a rational justification to the irrational behaviour of his.
The constant sleepless nights of my dad who slept under my brother’s metal cot braving the bugs and insects which would leave the sheet beneath him red in the morning. The frantic trips by mom to hospitals each morning while managing everything back at home.
The result was that finally, brother got discharged. When he finally got accustomed to the normal life, he was denied admission back into his school which apparently has a reputation in Delhi. We pled, begged but the great school didn’t move a bit. This was followed by moving my brother from his familiar environment to a new environment in a new school which lasted just for an year and then had to be shifted to an open school.
Now is left, the multiple trophies, medals and certificates that he won till now, of course he has been the brightest kid of my family and the red marks on wall created by his previous head bangings on wall. Everything got well with him but in this long period of 4 years, my grandpa lost his memory due to bit of negligence towards him as we got occupied with brother.
My grandma didn’t go for that regular health check ups that led to a built up of blood clot in her brain that has now left her in partial coma for god knows how long.
In the process of putting everything together my parents became aged by 10 years of their age reeling with massive stress, diabetes, blood pressure, persistent pains and what not. To add to their pains and worry my lazy thyroid gland decided to put itself to rest giving me added ounces of weight and a lifelong tryst with meds. In the spirit of humour, I sometimes decide to rename my house as ‘bimaar niwas’.
May there be any number of relatives or well wishers, it is our fight and we have to win it. We have to live along. Yes, sometimes we do contemplate suicide but rub that thought instantly.
We will fight it until we win over it. God may put any number of tests against us we will fight them off.