When is a girl eligible to get married in India?

Posted by debaleena chowdhury
May 29, 2017

NOTE: This post has been self-published by the author. Anyone can write on Youth Ki Awaaz.

“Om Mangalam Bhagwan Vishnu Mangalam Garud Dhwaja,
Mangalam Pundarikaaksha Mangalam Tano Harih.

Sarva Mangala Maangalye
Shiveysarvaarth Saadhikey,
Sharnaye Trayambakey
Gauri Naaraayani Namostutey”

The Sanskrit wedding slok that is important to almost every Indian family with a child. The irony is, this slok actually carries more weight when the person is a girl and not a guy.

But along the line with time, this question is not asked to a girl. Somewhere along, it is the family and the society that decides when she needs to be bound to another human being.

“Akeli Ladki khuli tizori hai” *

Bin bihai ladki ko ghar me jyada din nahi rakhte” *

I may be a girl, but I’m an individual human being first. I have the right to choose when , whom and why.

But in a great nation like ours progress of mentality about a women is still way behind time. The worse issue is, ‘It is actually the matriarch of the family in most cases that actually decides the fate of a girl child.

Fighting to get a better education is a common issue because there are scenarios where a more educated girl is believed to be a burden than a source of pride.
I remember attending a relative’s daughters wedding and actually seeing things that made me realize I’m really far luckier than many. The bride was more qualified than the guy, so they actually made her hide the fact that she is a PhD holder.

If you can’t respect her degree, why the fuck do you want to marry her Dumbo?

I’m an independent woman. I cook, wash and clean my stuff without worrying about a maid or my mom coming over. I stay alone in one of the most expensive cities of the country without ever going into debt or illegal elements. I fucking don’t spend my nights in crimped shirts and sweaty stinky jeans smoking cigarettes and forgetting to remove the rotten meat from the fridge like most guys.
Hell! I’m more self sufficient and more hygienic than my fellow single male friends. Then why do I need to get myself a crutch in the name of a husband? It will be more of an added responsibility of fending and mending a 2 year old spoiled brat.

Come on Yaar! I’m 29 not 58.. i still have a few years before you tie me to someone’s bedpost as wife.

I can protect myself better walking down the streets late night. In most cases my husband wont be there to pick and drop me from work every time, so how and when is he gonna be a knight to me?

I have an awesome career and a great life. I’m stable and well respected for what I do. I have my own set of friends and colleagues who I’m comfortable and happy with.

Why do I need to move to his city after I get married? Why do I need to make adjustment with my lifestyle and dressing for his family?

“Beta itne chote kapde shaadi k baad shobha nahi dete.” *

“Beta uska career to Pune mei set hai na?? tum waha naya job dekh lena” *

“Beta avi thoda din rest lelo.. Bachche wagera hojae to aap fir kaam shuru karlena.” *

You want me to change my entire lifestyle for him but what’s his contribution to this marriage other than his sperm and a bank account?

My Conclusion

  1. What an Indian Girl says in her mind but never aloud, “Chutiya samaj ke rakha hai kya? Ladki hu to that does not mean I’m dumb or brainless. I, fucking am an individual with dreams and hopes just like your sons.”
  2. What every Indian girl actually wants , “The day I will find someone to walk the road alongside instead of being pushed to stay behind will be the day I will get married happily.”
  3. What an Indian Family says, “Ab bas bhi karo uski Kaam aur Padhai *. She is 29, Send her to a gym, Make her loose a few pound and start trying to find her a nice well settled Guy. You don’t want her to end up unmarried and a burden.”

O hello! I’m no burden. If i want i can run an entire nation without an ounce of support. I can kick your entire families ass without even blinking my eyes. Stop downgrading me, just because I’m near 30 and not interested in marriage.

Stop trying to give your daughters the customized ‘before marriage brainwash makeover’ and try to find someone worthy of her. Most importantly, let it be her decision about when she wants to settle.
“I’m my own Knight in Shining Armor. I’m the Queen of my own world. I dont need a new surname or a new crutch to prove my worth to the world. I’m a Woman, the creator of every men” – Myself

( * See Google Hindi to English Translations please)

Youth Ki Awaaz is an open platform where anybody can publish. This post does not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions.