Crushes are said to crush you. But there’s a beauty in unrequited love. A 2-minute conversation or a 2-text chat has the potential to leave you up till late at night, think about all the future possibilities. You hope that they feel the same feelings as you. You imagine scenarios and giggle all by yourself in the dark.
And God forbid if they are already in a relationship; you’ll be planning their partner’s murder a hundred times over each and every day.
Sometimes you develop crushes on friends whom you talk to every day. Sometimes it is that guy in your class who kinda looks okay and has never ever said a word to you. You have no idea what he is really like and you don’t know much about him but you have seen him talk to your best friend and now you’re head over heels for him.
You leave anonymous notes in his locker (or nowadays, through the Google forms and the like.) You stalk his social media profiles (obviously, all of them) to figure out what he likes and dislikes, whether he has a girlfriend or nah, and whatever else that you can.
You still remember that first time that he looked directly at you. Your stomach was in knots, your brain freezed, your heart was thumping so loud you feared it would jump out of your body and he will find out that you like him.
You wrote poems about him and your diary is filled with words about him. And Oh My God, the first time that he actually talked with you, you couldn’t utter a single coherent sentence without the “aahs” and umms and you were awkward and got stage fright. You scolded yourself that day, standing in front of a mirror and cursing your stupid brain because now he probably knows that you like him, right? Or he thinks that you’re just too dumb for his time. Either of the two. But one thing you were certain of – that it’s never going to work out after that fiasco. So you find your old pen drive to transfer some songs and rev up the volume on your phone. Listening to Taylor Swift, you sit alone in your room and gorge on chocolate ice cream, telling yourself that you’re no good.
But now you’re wiser. You know that the guy was too much of an idiot to even think about your stammering and stuttering in front of him. You know now that he turned out to be a major asshole and that he would have probably ruined a few months of your life had you been together. But of course, you know that about the guy you had a crush on in 6th grade, and not the cute guy who sat next to you during the picnic this year and asked you for book recommendations.
