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Good Girl

Posted by Sadiya Khan
June 13, 2017

NOTE: This post has been self-published by the author. Anyone can write on Youth Ki Awaaz.

Who we consider a ‘Good girl’??
On what parameters the goodness of a girl is measured?
Do we need a criteria for it?
Or we need definition to a good girl..?

Several questions hit my head when it comes to ‘Stereotype’ of a girl..
Society standards have set certain ‘stereotypes’ for a Girl..

Living in an patriarchal society these stereotypes are handed over to us as legacies and some are created fresh by our own

A Society which preach tolerance and hates being judged.. consider a Girl GOOD who is quiet,shy, doesnt speaks too much and holds no opinion to anything!

The ‘good girl’ label comes with a lot of wrong notions..about a girl’s character, intelligence and interests.

A girl is supposed to look pretty, and is considered weak.

Any small tiny thing like pencil is considered feminine,
While a strong one considered MALE!
Though very minor but these sterotypes hold great plays in our society.

Stereotyopes begin the moment a baby’s gender is found out…

The moment we know its a baby girl.. We start filling her closets with pink ,frilly dresses and her toy box with tea set and dolls.

We start making her ‘girly’.

What this is essentially doing,
even though many parents do not realize it.. It is setting the child to be the ‘perfect lady’, and teaching her how to be the stereotypical woman.

In a very young age, she is well aware with it that she is gonna marry.. And is supposed to stay at home with her baby while husband goes to work.

They are supposed to do ‘clean jobs’ like teachers, secreterians,nursing, doctors.

They are supposed to make less money than men…
Best women sit at home, being house mums.. Doing all household chores!

They are meant to be submissive and do as they are told,

They are quiet and are not meant to speak out…

Parents never say they are going to make out a independent ‘Tom boy’ out of their girl.
They rarely make a girl to live on her own terms and conditions
The society doesnt let them!!

A general typical assumption is made in our society for girls,

A Girl is not thought to live single and independently..
She is made to live with a guy somehow for whole her life!

She is never in charge of her stands!!

She is never given the space to express her physical desires..

A girl approaching a guy is not the ‘stereotype’ of a good girl..
Proposing is assigned for males.

A girl who drinks,smokes, do drugs, do sex, having numerous male friends, wears crop tops with high- waisted shorts is not considered good.
While a boy is considered a Cool dude on doing this.

She is supposed to wear a purity ring before her marriage, representating her commitment to the chastity before marriage.

A shy girl, Who lacks the spirit of expressing herself ..not holding considerable confidence..not having a boyfriend ..
Who never got intimate..
Is considered a girl perfect to get marry with!!

These may be the choices of a girl but they are not supposed to be limited boundaries to her life!

Either way, generalising girls across the spectrum is not fair.

She is not supposed to be caged in a spectrum making out herself a ‘typical’.

Just becoz she Rides bike, plays football,
becoz she is your COOL bro, makes her no less than a girl!

If she cracks double meaning jokes then it doesn’t mean she is sexual intent with you!!

And yes!!! FOREVER ALONE holds true for girls as well,
When a girl says she is single, it doesnt necessarily mean she is looking out for a relationship!
Its not a cue for you guys to start hitting on her!!

Being a girl, Doesnt mean she must know how to cook!

Well ..she is strong enough to take on her responsibilities!!
Dont be over-protective or over-possesive to her.
Let her take her stands whatever they are!

If She is bold enough to express herself and considerably outspoken that doesnt mean she will sleep out with you in less than seconds!

A girl being open about her physical desires doesnt mean she is intended to sex with each and every guy!!
It doesnt certify her being bad!

And who is a good girl..??

What is the mental opinion out there judging goods and bads!!

Does the way i get dressed, speak and act really reflect who i am?
Or i am merely mimicking the stereotype!!?

Going a step ahead of your girly lines.. live with dignity and do realise true worth of yourself!!

Dont be a slave to limitations set out for you!!
Speak up! Dress up however you want! Be single!! Be strong!! Say exactly what you want!
You are not meant to wear pink and speak are not meant to have a dependent relation!
Join politics, join leadership, you are not meant to be lost in marriage.
You are not meant to upbring your children only!

And so You are not meant to be bound up in STEREOTYPES!!

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