The harmless Issue in my state

Dear Malayali Men,

Hey there! I’m from Kerala too! Kerala. God’s own country, where God of small things come from. But being from a small town in this very state, and being a girl, there is  just ” a tiny, not so important problem” that I face and I’m sure that most of the girls out there can relate to.

STARES. Yes. If you’re a girl and decide to go out and spend some time alone, you will be stared at. If you’re a girl and go out with your friends (male, female, or both), even then you will be stared at. If you’re a girl wearing a fully covered purdah or a sexy sheer top (only few attempt this stunt here), you will be stared at. If you’re 10 years, 22 years or 50 years old, you’ll still be stared at. Basically, age, clothing, character, nothing matters. If you’re a female, you’ll be stared at. Now,most of the ladies here have grown so used to it and live with it. Ladies teach their younger siblings as to how to deal with the stares. IGNORE. Yes, that is the master plan that has always worked brilliantly.

Now, I’m not speaking of the slightly flirtatious look that men give women. I have no problem if a man looks at me, checks me out a bit, and moves on with his business. I’m talking about the death stares that men give when they see a woman. Judging everything about her, probably saying in their mind, “She’s breathing. What a slut.” And don’t even get me started about the different comments that are showered upon a woman as she walks by. The ridiculous giggling of a group of men, loud (even rhythmic, some of them are quite talented) whistling to get attention, silly,harmless enquiries as to where we live and if they can accompany us – it is all a part of a woman’s life here, so etched into our system that no one protests. Even if we did, the situation just gets worse.

I do realize that this problem happens everywhere but the rate at which the death stares are happening in our state is unbearable. Maybe it has to do with the lack of “minding my own business”  attitude in Malayalis.

So what do we do? Aah. Yes. The master plan. IGNORE. Learn to live with it. 

Will there ever be a change? Or should I prepare on my lecture for my future child to not “mind such things” ?

Thankfully, there are a few men out there who actually respect women, who do not do these silly activities and does not think of them as “fun”. Thank you for being there. We love you and please don’t change.

To the rest of you, it does not happen to all men, it is not silly and it is a big deal! Grow up. For God’s own country’s sake.