My name is Megha, a 28 years old ordinary girl and this is about what I am facing now a days…
“Expectations”-a word I have heard plenty of times but this time it had contained something strange and unacceptable context when I heard it on phone as the cousin sister of a guy who does want to marry me, told me that I am being expected towards lots of things in the new family such as GHUNGHAT, FOLLOWING EVERY SINGLE WORD OF ALL THE FAMILY MEMBERS, NOT ARGUING A SINGLE TIME AS ELDERS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT, UNITY OF FAMILY etc because his parents have spent their whole life, savings for his education and bringing up (NOT MINE!!!).
I don’t believe that I would be the only one who have heard such things, there could be many of our women or girls who also might have heard the same.
The point is that there is nothing to care about the expectations of a girl who is going to leave lot of unacceptable things (parents, surname, lifestyle, comfort, freedom, even opinions) to come in a new family!!! Instead of consoling her to not to worry for anything and she would be treated as a daughter of the family only, such people are only concerned about their expectations and don’t even try to understand what a girl would be feeling! fear, anxiety, stress, sadness, loneliness and list goes on.
Fortunately I am one of the most bold girls who don’t entertain such things. But here the matter is to change this old age ritual in treating a would be daughter in law as a daughter, trying to understand her side more then considering your expectations,ensuring her that her new life will be lovely.
Why it always doubt, assume negative, give judgment in advance about her behavior or nature before giving her a single chance to express herself!!!
She is not an omelet just happened out of an egg in a minute!!!! she has also family, friends, her dignity, opinion, life style. Her parents have even more genuine expectations then yours… as her daughter is going to leave even them for your family.
Respect her,accept her,give her time and space, make her believe that she is supported and loved and you might have not to worry about anything then☺