This post has been self-published on Youth Ki Awaaz by Soumadri Banerjee. Just like them, anyone can publish on Youth Ki Awaaz.

These 9 Careless Things You Say Are Hurting People With Disabilities

More from Soumadri Banerjee

Just the other day, in a conversation I was having, my friend clarified himself, saying, “By ‘bad’, I don’t mean ‘psycho’ bad, but just ‘bad’, you know?” The implications of his words occurred to me only later but that is because we’ve become so desensitised to ableist terms that we don’t really pick up on them easily.

Ableism can be defined as prejudice against people who are mentally or physically disabled and the systemic oppression they have to put up with. How often have we found ourselves uttering phrases like, “What are you, blind?”, “That’s such a retarded thing to say,” “That’s just crazy talk,” or “You’re such a moron?” Such phrases are common and we use them regularly without thinking twice. Ableism in our culture is deeply pervasive. It finds expression in our speech, in our writings, and in all forms of language and communication.

Because it has been normalised to such an extent, most people using ableist language do so without being aware of the implication behind their words. Subtle insults, directed at minority groups, may seem harmless at first glance but such microaggressions, when accumulated over a lifetime, result in lower self-confidence, depression and higher mortality. Thus, language too can become a medium of oppression. Let’s take a look at the meaning behind certain words which are most definitely ableist but are very much part of everyday conversation.

“That joke was so lame!”

This is a commonly heard phrase. In fact, there are entire websites dedicated to ‘lame’ jokes. ‘Lame’ was originally used to refer to people unable to walk due to physical disability or neurological disorders affecting their feet. In modern day parlance, it has come to mean unoriginal, uninteresting or dull. Next time you use the word ‘lame’ to describe a film or a song, bear in mind that you are equating people who have to rely on canes or crutches with all those negative meanings.

Alternatives: Unimpressive, Boring, Tedious, Uninspiring, Tiresome, Lacklustre, Meh

“Can you please dumb it down?”

“Dumb”, again, has been clinically used to refer to speech-related disabilities or communication disorders stemming from inherited deafness. However, today the word has become synonymous with lack of intelligence. Take the phrase “dumb as a box of rocks” or the film “Dumb or Dumber”, starring Jim Carrey. The phrase “dumb it down” is also used to suggest making things more accessible or obvious. In either case, when used in this sense, the word implies that those who are capable of verbal communication are somehow more intelligent than those who are not, which is simply not true. This applies to words like “idiot” and “stupid” as well.

Similarly, the word “moron” is often used synonymously with “dumb”. This term, however, has a clinical history. Coined in 1910 and initially used in psychology circles to refer to those with mild intellectual disabilities, it eventually became closely linked to the Eugenics movement in America. People who fell under this label were confined in state hospitals where they underwent inhumane treatment under conditions of extreme degradation and poverty. While today the word is mostly used to denote a lack of intelligence, such words resonate differently among marginalised groups because of the history associated with it.

Alternatives: Frustrating, Pointless, Silly, Ignoramus, Unwise, Irrational. Try “Can you make it more accessible?” or “Give me the skinny” instead of “Dumb it down”.

“…if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.”

The above quote is from the Bible (Matthew 15:14). In “Sultan”, Salman Khan’s character says that when Shahrukh Khan stares into the eyes of a girl, then even if the girl is blind, she cannot resist his charms. Cue laughter from the audience. Both these instances convey the idea that blind people are ignorant or should be laughed at. The idea that blindness has any bearing on intelligence is entirely inaccurate. Moreover, blind people are not helpless creatures but are in fact perfectly capable of managing themselves and others. They have plenty of means to get around. Look no further than Marvel’s “Daredevil” for a positive portrayal of blindness. Sure, he’s a superhero but he’s also blind and a perfectly capable lawyer.

Alternatives: Careless, Reckless, Brash, Irresponsible, Ignorant, Disinterested

“Never go full retard.”

Frequently found in internet comments sections, the word “retard”, which is actually used to refer to people with intellectual disabilities, has come to be synonymous with lack of intelligence or undesirability. This word, which is not specific to any diagnosis in particular and is used as an umbrella term, directly constitutes hate speech, insinuating that everyone who suffers from any form of mental disability is somehow lacking in intelligence.

Alternatives: Pathetic, Terrible, Dreadful, Abysmal, Horrible

“Quit acting like a psychopath!”

Remember Norman Bates? Yes, that’s right, the creepy proprietor of Bates Motel from Alfred Hitchcock’s famous film “Psycho”. The trope of the potentially violent escaped mental patient, or the killer with split personalities is widely prevalent in media. These tropes help perpetuate the idea that people with mental illnesses are violent and, conversely, that violence is only committed by people with mental illnesses. Not only are such representations inaccurate, they stigmatise people who may be suffering from disorders, thus making it much less likely for them to come forward and seek treatment.

The word ‘psychopath’ has been used to other and demonise people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Psychosis or even manic depression and anxiety. These are distinct disorders, which are, in reality, far removed from the popular conception of the psychopath. Psychopathy is not even considered to be a real medical disorder. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders does not include psychopathy as a proper medical diagnosis.

Alternatives: Unpredictable, Erratic, Irrational

“My friend has been acting so bipolar lately!”

Bipolar disorder is a genuine medical condition which causes unpredictable shifts in mood, energy and activity. People who suffer from bipolar disorder often experience extreme depression followed by a period of elevated mood. Since 1990, bipolar disorder has led to an increase of 14.3% in the annual years of healthy life lost per 100,000 people in India. When you casually remark about bipolar disorder, you trivialise the experiences of those who have to actually deal with the mental ups and downs of this condition.

Alternatives: Unpredictable, Moody, Temperamental

“This must be crazy, right?”

I know what you’re thinking – even “crazy”? It just goes to show how desensitised we’ve become to the usage of such words in everyday conversations. The word actually means “mad” or “insane” and can act as an umbrella term to cover a broad range of mental illness from depression and anxiety to bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Again, using this word casually further adds to the stigmatisation of mental illness and belittles people who do have to live with such disorders. When you do have the option of choosing your language, why not choose words which are less alienating in effect?

Alternatives: Thrilling, Exhilarating, Ridiculous, Absurd, Preposterous

“What are you, deaf or something?”

Like the word “blind”, this is another word commonly shouted out during traffic jams. Or think of a term like “tone-deaf” which is directed at people perfectly capable of hearing. Again, a deaf person is not deaf by choice. “Deaf”, like, “blind” becomes synonymous with ignorance which is both morally and factually incorrect. The implicit suggestion in this comparison is that one must be deaf to exhibit such behaviour which is not even close to the truth. People who have hearing disabilities are not necessarily less intelligent or incapable of getting things done.

Alternatives: Rash, Careless, Reckless, Impulsive, Irresponsible, Ignorant, Uninformed

“Lol! Triggered!!!”

‘Triggered’ jokes are commonplace on most internet meme pages today. As jokes, they are used in a derogatory sense to refer to feminists who, very rightly, take offence at patriarchal cultural attitudes. However, the origin of trigger warnings dates back to the early 1900s, when psychologists were dealing with, what was then called, ‘war neurosis’ in soldiers who had served in the war. The psychologists were trying to figure out which events exactly triggered painful memories or flashbacks from the war. It eventually led to the discovery of what we know today as post-traumatic stress disorder.

Today, trigger warnings are common on social media and blogging platforms, serving as a forewarning to users about content that might exacerbate their mental health issues. Trigger warnings are potential lifesavers for victims of traumatic experiences such as sexual assault or hate crimes, along with those suffering from mental illnesses like anxiety or bipolar disorder. To use ‘triggered’ as a joke is extremely callous as it downplays the very real consequences of trauma from physical, emotional or mental abuse.  

Alternatives: None. Do not use ‘triggered’ as a joke.

Ableist language further contributes to the marginalisation of people with disabilities, making it harder for them to come forward and discuss their struggles. People with disabilities have first hand experience of the stigma and prejudice such language helps create.

For instance, a person I spoke to, who has been diagnosed with spina bifida, a spinal disorder which affects one’s ability to walk, had this to say: “On most days, walking is extremely hard or entirely out of the question. I’m mostly wheelchair bound and on rare occasions, use a stick to hobble around. When people look at me, I often get the feeling that they think there is something wrong with me. They think I’m different and sometimes use this as an excuse to bully me and call me names. These words are like a punch to the gut. They make me feel I was born wrong and that I am somehow less than human.”

The fact that not all disabilities are visible makes it all the more important that we do not trivialise disabilities through our speech.

60 million Indians suffer from mental health disorders of some type or the other. Our government expenditure on mental health care is only 0.06% and there is a significant lack of coverage on mental health issues.

In 2015, doctors predicted that India was well on its way to becoming the suicide capital of the world with depression and other mental health issues being the primary reason behind 90% of the suicides.

Often, a person suffering from depression is asked to ‘get over it’, as if it’s their own fault for being weak and susceptible enough to depression. Depression, however, does not come with a switch that one can choose to flick on and off at will but requires proper medical care and treatment.

In such an environment, where misconceptions about mental health abound, ableist language helps perpetuate negative stereotypes about those suffering from psychosocial disabilities and further stigmatises any helpful talk around mental illness. After all, a person suffering from anxiety or depression would be much less likely to come forward and discuss these issues when their very illness is trivialised and treated as a joke.

Not being immune to cultural influences, I know that I have used ableist terms in the past, and on occasions, still do. But as far as language is concerned, it is not something immutable but is fluid and can evolve with time.

Until a few years ago, “gay” was commonly used in the negative sense until it was pointed out that such language was rooted in homophobia. Today, a lot more people are sensitive about using the word in a similar manner. In the same way, ableist language is rooted in prejudice against people with mental or physical disabilities.

What we need is for people with disabilities of all varieties to be able to come forward and share their experiences in a comfortable environment. It is not merely ‘political correctness’ which is at stake here. Words are not merely just words, but in fact, they help shape and inform our very perception of the world. We need to be aware of the meaning behind the words we use, their implications, the messages they send and the long term consequences they might have. Tempering our speech, in lieu of that, is not censorship, but an act rooted in self-awareness and empathy.


You must be to comment.
  1. KiloBunny

    You certainly have some points here. I actually have the movie Psycho on right now and this film isn’t going to age well with how it demonises mental illness and makes it a spectacle. However, after talking this over with a friend I have some points of disagreement.
    For one, the word lame. In my experience, or rather, lack of it, the word lame is no longer used to denote the disability at all. It seems to have almost completely shifted to just slang for bad or unimpressive, and the fact it’s such a complete revelation for most that it once meant unable to walk seems quite telling of this. Words certainly have immense influence and power and are used as a vessel for perception of the world, but sometimes their power can be lost over time. If you ask me, that’s a very good thing in this case. This is also part of how language itself develops.
    Next there’s blind. When used expressions like “Are you blind?” or “You must be blind if…”, my interpretation has always been its definition of meaning dulled or impaired of the senses in general, not the disorder specifically. It very well could have its origins in meaning the disorder but if my experiences are those of most here, and with something this subconscious I’d assume they are, the medically blind aren’t being targeted here.
    Lastly, “stupid/dumb”. This is another example of the intended meaning not specifically targeting those with the handicap. When I call someone stupid, I mean to say foolish or daft. Stupid and dumb are often synonymous with these, with the meaning and intent of mentally slow as a result of learning disabilities being more specific and to the side.
    I could certainly be wrong about the more general statements I included here, so if you respond to this feel free to correct me. I’m not looking into it right now because the last time I tried to leave this page for something else I tapped the wrong thing on the website and my whole comment was erased; this is a rewrite. If it sheds any light on my way of thinking aswell as perspective in writing this, I have Asperger’s Syndrome and it shapes my entire world perception.

More from Soumadri Banerjee

Similar Posts

By Ankita Subba

By Atypical Advantage

By Atypical Advantage

Wondering what to write about?

Here are some topics to get you started

Share your details to download the report.

We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

Share your details to download the report.

We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

A native of Bhagalpur district – Bihar, Shalini Jha believes in equal rights for all genders and wants to work for a gender-equal and just society. In the past she’s had a year-long association as a community leader with Haiyya: Organise for Action’s Health Over Stigma campaign. She’s pursuing a Master’s in Literature with Ambedkar University, Delhi and as an MHM Fellow with YKA, recently launched ‘Project अल्हड़ (Alharh)’.

She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

The Transmen-ses campaign aims to tackle the issue of silence and disregard for trans men’s menstruation needs, by mobilising gender sensitive health professionals and gender neutral restrooms in Lucknow.

Read more about the campaign here.

A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

Share your details to download the report.

We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

Sign up for the Youth Ki Awaaz Prime Ministerial Brief below