A dumb shy girl….who was not very good at academics.. cultural activities… passed her 5 class..and entered the sixth standard..with lots of dilemmas,the underconfident girl started living her life. Home to school..school to home..was the only life she had..
Being molested..at 7 by her own uncle…every second time…he visited her home with… toffee’s for her…also by her sister from 7 to 12..on the context of her elder sister playing shadi shadi ..with her…she used to caress her body…suck her nippless etc.
Didnt had many frnz in the school, wanted to be the part of the famous girls gangs of the school but couldn’t be..she could never express her feelings clearly..
At home..she fought the same battle. Her mother ..who never wanted to have her,scolded her continuosly, every day and night. And her elder brother and sister were given all the love. The domestic violence prevailing at home had many forms..dad beating her mom…mom beating scolding her three children.specially to the third one.whom she never wanted to have.
The girl.. emotionally drained..not knowing her situation …dealt with it somehow..reached 8..where subjects like physics chemistry maths tortured her more…she although passed and reached 9 standard..where she met someone who wanted her, loved her, cared for her… unfortunately it was a disguise used by the fellow. He just wanted to have her.
Their so called ” teenage relationship” went untill class 11 until when the girl was head over heels for him…gave him everything..love support care…and her body..
Finally ..she had found a solace…a place where she got love..of which deprived at home…fake in real ..world for her..but who knew what the time would unwrap..
Her new beautiful blossomed world was blown away when many of her friends, juniour started turing up to her to inform that her prince started wooing them all…when confronted..her prince replied ..he was checking those girls character for his friends… The dumbo believed..
The same happened again..few days later. And then she decided ..with lot of courage ..to Call it off..followed by the entrance of Bollywood drama by her prince..
Carving names at hand by blade.. drinking..acting to be in depression..making his elder brother make call to the girl..who almost convinced her to come back..but his last sentence made it all clear…
” PROPOSE HI TO KIA THA..
SOYA NI THA KISI K SAATH…
IS BR TM MAAN JAO…AGLI BAAR AISA KUCH HOGA TO TM CHLI JAANA”
Shattered….after this chapter…her confidence suffered a new low…all while she was struggling her family problems alone…
When her family member came to know about this …she was called names .by her mother..her brother..the most favourite of their being ” whore” “should have been born in a brothel” .barred from making and talking to friends..
No social life…the scolding abuses beating by her mother increasing at a directly proportional level…. All this from her class 9-11….
She entered 12… Bit more cautious…bit more concentrated…but with same conditions…but the same dumb and childish heart…which still was searching for the love…which was not given …the deprived one…the snatched one…
Life was going good…studies bit on the line…she couldnt concentrate much …but was fine enough to pass 12 with 1st grade…things took a turn. …in the midst where she met a guy …muslim…one …but cute…indulged with him… And “REPEATED THE MISTAKE”
she did earlier…the only change …this realtionship ended within 2nd half years because the guy wanted the “VIRGINITY”. Things came to an end with the same previous melodrama..But she evolved..
Now till today…all she has been alone…fighting her famous school gangs…trying to become a famous one …not succeeded….at home…her mother …whom she wanted with whole heart and mind…she just wanted her love…and support…instead…when she did any mistake…her mommy used to tell her…
“I didnt wanted you…neither did your aunt..it was just your dad..who wanted you…he didnt wanted an abortion to happen.”
Ironically the girl…once had a huge fight …with her dad..in which she was beaten red and blue…by her dad …from instruments suvh as belt …legs…thrown on the ground..
The REASON – he called the mother “WHORE” in front of the girl…and she stood up for her mother..
Now …she is in dilemma ….her father didnt abort her as a foetus..for “HER” or for “HER MOTHER’s HEALTH”
Her sister went out for higher studies…to delhi…and her brother too…when it was time for her to leave the city…her siblings said a no….she shouldn’t be allowed out..whatever the case be…
And it happened…she didnt go anywhere..
She completed 12 …opted for CA.( Chartered accountancy) but was shifted to mba by her parents on the recommendation that…
Ca is a reccession oriented job…
Her siblings telling her
” iske pass dmag nh h.
. y nai kr paegiii”
Today…with zero confidence…bad academics..lack of concentration …..and many more difficulties she is preparing and aiming for cat 2017… emotionally drained…she accepted another guy…who took her virginity… genuinely loves and cares for her…sometimes…
But she again…is gathering all her courage…scattered…to say a word…
” Breakup”
Not because she hates or something..but because…she wants to be free…she wants to be away…no burden of commitment…not having boundaries..no talk me to sleep chats…no telling what were u upto …or why u wore that..
She just wants one thing….
Not to b answerable…to anyone… concentrate…on her study…get a college…and leave away everything and everyone behind… especially her mother…. For whom she had been a burden for rightaway 21 years…. Those sentence still…still swirls ..echoes…in her head…and cut her into pieces… when she heard them again…by her mother…telling to her now-married-sister…
“DHYANN RKHNA PATI K SAATH..BACHHA GIRANE KI DAWA KAAM NH KRTI ..HM V KHAYE THE ( at the time she concievedTHE GIRL ) K WQT..KUCH NAI HUA..PAIDA KRNA NAHI CHAHTE THE..TUMHARE BAAP K WAJAH S HOGAI…”
Fully traumatized…..The girl now has grown up and has no grudges against her mother or anyone…she just wants to get a good college in mba…the only thing… hindering is…these thought Everytime…drag her confidence …to a minus level….which can’t get her through the interviewer’s ….She guesses….!!!!!