I am a scared confident woman who walk past my city with constant threat. All the members belonging to my sex are paranoid. We have a threat of someone following us, plotting against us, observing us, talking about us and yes! Falling for us in a way that he may kidnap us. We are not only threatened on streets but at home too, followed online too. The amazing part of it is, most of us have learned this and not experienced it.
I think culture taught this paranoia through media, the most influential teacher.
It is so strange that most of us are ready for it, know the possibilities of victimizing and hence also know, it can happen to not only when you are out but also when you are caged. We strive harder to reduce this possibility, cover every ounce of flesh in order to increase what we call “near misses”.
How proudly we say, “I am Confident”, but we choose less words to explain what we mean “I am a Scared Confident woman who is striving hard to reduce every evil gender differences is plotting against me”
It is very hard for me to explain to my younger sister when she talks about being strong enough to fight back people, and how she is encouraged to break the patriarchal society by wearing “A-Little-Less” clothes than what is been advised. Because she is right! She is right that we must live our life king size, at least have freedom. But most people who talk and have access about it, our Bollywood actresses and politicians don’t walk on road, don’t have to board busses, have no idea of travelling in auto and most of all “Bear” eyes that “Undress” a girl faster than she could think.
The only thing I could explain her, keeping in mind the growth and confidence she must maintain, is:
“Dear Little Girl,
There has been taken steps to help break the patriarchy, but you will have to understand that it is the most rooted of all, to an extent that breaking masculinity and feminity to adopt androgynous approach will still take good two decades. I don’t say there is no change but the change is gradual, it is genetically opposing, it is in upbringing. The point is, “We”, teaching them doesn’t make it sure “they” have learned.
Confidence and strength does not come just from clothes, there are many other things you can do to show your power. You can excel in the field you choose, devote and contribute to community and help people outgrow their hurdles. We don’t have to be like them while opposing them.
Until you see the change is safely made, please protect yourself and keep your eyes open, don’t hesitate to take careful measures even if it counts covering yourself and not going out alone when it’s dark.
Confidence in right direction, will bring about a Change”