Sending aged parents to old age orphanage – You are becoming orphan, not they

Posted by Hardik Lashkari
August 27, 2017

NOTE: This post has been self-published by the author. Anyone can write on Youth Ki Awaaz.

Just after dropping his aged father at the old age orphanage, as he was going back, his wife called him,

“Hi Sweetheart”, he said,

“Hi, why haven’t you come back till now? Didn’t you drop him still?”, said her wife in annoying tone,

“No Sweetheart, I have already dropped him, I am about to reach car parking of the orphanage. Will be right there at your place in 10 minutes.”

“Wait, go back there and ask your father not to come home even on festivals. He should stay there and let us live happily in peace.”

“Yeah yeah, let me convey this to him. Ok sweet heart, bye, catch you up within 15 minutes.”

“Come soon, we have to go to my friend’s place for party and dinner. I hope you haven’t forgot about party amidst all this emotional drama.”

“No, how can I forget that it is your friend’s father’s birthday party. I am coming home soon. Meanwhile, get ready.”

He turned back towards the old age orphanage to convey the message of his wife to his father. As he stepped inside the premises, he saw that his father was sitting in the garden, talking with the guardian-cum-manager of that orphanage. He was happily conversing with the manager and laughing loudly in between. It seemed as if his father and the manager knew each other since ages.

He asked the manager, “Sir, how do you know my father? Have you both met before?”

Manager replied politely, “Yes son, I know him since a long time now. Actually, I used to work at children orphanage about 30 years ago and I met this gentleman there.”

“What were you doing at children orphanage, papa?”

“Actually, your father and mother couldn’t give birth to child because of some health problems. They were getting aged and wanted love of a child badly. Hence, they came to the orphanage to adopt a child”, replied the manager.

“Was I an orphan?”, he could ask only this,

“Yes, you were an orphan, but then you got adopted by your father-mother so you weren’t orphan any more. But today, as you left this old age home dropping your father here, you are again an orphan.”, manager’s tone changed from politeness to sadness.

Are we really so intolerant that we can’t tolerate the behaviour of our aged parents? Our ideologies don’t match with parents, we have modern lifestyle where partying till late night and come home drunken has become day-to-day activities, we don’t want their interference in our life, and this becomes the reason of getting separated. Really? Can this be the only reason of separation from those who bring us into this world?

I completely disagree of the theory which says, “Everybody blames sons for sending their aged parents to old age home. Why people forget that daughter in law plays an important role in sending them to old age home? If this wasn’t the case, why wouldn’t sons send their parents to old age home before marriage?”

Other day, I read an article which provided a different angle to this discussion. The author mentioned that if attitude and behaviour of parents doesn’t match with children’s attitude, and if parents have provided all sort of financial assistance to them pre-and-post marriage, there is no reason why they shouldn’t be left at old age orphanages. The author also mentioned that if children (both son and daughter-in-law) or the parents can get some peace of mind, why shouldn’t they get separated? Can somebody think as low as this? Are we just staying with parents because we need their financial assistance? Is separation from parents so simple that unmatched ideologies or behaviour can become a factor of separation?

I have seen married couples re-locating themselves to metropolitan cities in search of better career opportunities. Bigger cities, expensive lifestyle, expensive yet small rent houses etc. all constitutes as a factor in sending parents to these orphanages.

Think just once, did your parents think about expenses before admitting you to the best school of city? Did they even once realise that the university where they were admitting you was the most expensive university of the state? Did they once tell you when you asked that you wanted to join the best cricket academy of city that costed huge amount?

Had they thought this, they could have saved millions and millions in their bank account, by which they could have served their post retirement age happily, happily then how are you forcing them to serve in those orphanages.

I’ll just say one thing here, please, let your parents do what they want to do, ask them to visit different pilgrimages with their friends, tell them to go to different places of city where they can make new friends, don’t get irritated when they say something which you don’t like, behave with them politely, and love them unconditionally. Whenever you feel frustrated, just think – Didn’t your parents ask you to do all above mentioned things when you were a kid?

They want your love at this age – don’t do anything extra, just give them all the love that they gave you all their life. They loved you for 60 years, can’t you love them back for another 30 years. Don’t worry – you’ll still be in gain because you’ll have balance of 30 years love that they gave you and extra blessings of these 30 years where you loved them back when they needed it most.

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