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If You Have These 7 Symptoms, You’re Definitely Stereotyped As A ‘Bigda Hua Ladka Or Ladki’

Posted by BBCMA India in #BHL
September 7, 2017
Editor's note: This post is a part of #BHL, a campaign by BBC Media Action and Youth Ki Awaaz to redefine and own the label of what a 'bigda hua ladka or ladki' really is. If you believe in making your own choices and smashing this stereotype, share your story.

Written By Nitya Sriram

We all remember Kirron Kher’s stunning performance in the hit song ‘Maa da laadla bigad gaya’ from Karan Johar’s ‘comedy’ film Dostana. Her carefully dramatised portrayal of the desi mom not only inspired hilarity, but also managed to forge a deep connect with the audience, because let’s face it, haven’t we all been labelled ‘bigda hua’ or ‘bigdi hui’ by the friendly neighbourhood moral brigade? The tag is used so liberally (and differently for boy and girls) that there’s some confusion about what really qualifies as ‘bigda’ / ‘bigdi’. We derived the common denominators, and came up with 7 symptoms that can help clear your doubts!

Symptom 1: You Speak Your Mind

Remember sticking to your guns when Mohit’s mother said you shouldn’t hang out with people of the opposite gender? Do you think speaking your mind was the right thing to do? Yes? Regardless, you just got labelled, and the entire colony knows it, now! Gasp!

Symptom 2: You’re Fond Of Choosing Your Own Path

“Beta, tumhare chacha ke mama ke bete ka chhota beta engineering kar raha hai. Tum humanities karke humari naak mat katwana (Your uncle’s uncle’s kid’s younger son is doing engineering. Don’t shame us by choosing the Humanities field)!”

Heck! All you decided to do was choose your preferred career path, but no! This is not acceptable. And it doesn’t stop there – how can you make choices that defy the choices society has made for you?! You just earned yourself a label.

Symptom 3: You Say ‘No’ When You Disagree With Something

When you’re asked not to wear shorts to the gym, say ‘yes’. Even if it means wearing a salwar kameez with a dupatta, which puts you at risk of getting into a serious accident. Never say ‘no’. Practice saying ‘yes’ in front of the mirror if you have to, and it might just get easier.

Symptom 4: You Refuse To Take Crap. From Anyone.

“Beta, ladkiyon ka kaam hota hai pati ke liye khana banana. Abhi nahi seekhogi toh kab seekhogi (It’s a woman’s job to cook for her husband. If not now, when will you learn)?”

Find uncle-from-next-door’s unsolicited ‘advice’ to be absolute crap? Tough. Acche bachon ki tarah baat maan lo (Be a good girl and listen to it anyway)!

Symptom 5: You Like Doing Things That Are Off The Beaten Track

“Ladki hoke cooking nahi aati? Ladke hoke lambe baal rakhhe hain? (Being a girl, how can you not know cooking? How can you keep long hair, when you’re a boy?)”

 How. Dare. You. Haath se nikal gaye ho, yaar (You’re out of control, man)!

Symptom 6: Your Motto Is ‘Mah Life, Mah Rulezzzz’

Don’t want to get married at 25? But, your biological clock is ticking!
Want to quit your job and ‘settle’ for a pay cut that makes you happier? How will you support your future family if you’re not ‘settled’?

Gotta think about everyone else’s opinion, bro!

Symptom 7: You’re Gutsy

Love marriage in the 21st century. Raising your voice against age-old traditions. Getting tattooed. All, and more, forbidden unless you want to be ‘bigda hua’. It’s only fair, ya!

We’ve had our laugh, but let’s pause and really think about this. Is this label really justified? Do these symptoms of being ‘bigda’ actually make sense? Do others really have more of a say in what you do or don’t do, by virtue of taking a high moral ground? How do you tackle such situations? Do you reject the tag, or do you wear it on your sleeve, proudly?

Have you ever been labelled ‘bigda hua’ / ‘bigdi hui’? Tell us why and what you think about it – together, let’s decode this label, understand where it comes from, and figure out what we, as individuals, want to do with it. Write on Youth Ki Awaaz and follow our campaign #BHL!