This post has been self-published on Youth Ki Awaaz by Hardik Lashkari. Just like them, anyone can publish on Youth Ki Awaaz.

Dad, My Guitar And Cricket Are Gone As I Didn’t Want You To Think Your Beta Is ‘Useless’

More from Hardik Lashkari

Editor's note: This post is a part of #BHL, a campaign by BBC Media Action and Youth Ki Awaaz to redefine and own the label of what a 'bigda hua ladka or ladki' really is. If you believe in making your own choices and smashing this stereotype, share your story.

Dear mom and dad,

I know I’ll never be able to express my love for you and how much I respect you and care about you. I want to confess a few things today that I can never say face to face.

Dad, I especially want to tell you a few things that I can never speak in front of you and hopefully, this will reduce the differences between our hearts a little bit.

Mom, I know you can understand my feelings sometimes, but more often than not, you also treat me in the same way as everybody else.

I know I have always annoyed you both – sometimes by my careless behaviour, sometimes by my silly way of doing things or sometimes by being rude.

Dad, I never told you but I have always felt proud of what you have done for me and I know you’ll always keep doing it. Quietly, I always aim to be like you – you have carried the responsibility of the family so beautifully over the years, and without ever making us realise how hard you had to earn all that money.

Mom, I realise your struggles, the hardships you had to undergo with dad for our upbringing.

Mom and dad, please don’t ever think that your careless son doesn’t realise the hardships you’ve been through – I know how much you both had to struggle to give me the best possible education.

Both of you have always told me to respect elders, greet everybody, respect other genders and never hurt anybody’s feelings. Even when I a little disrespectful, believe me, I never intend to hurt others’ feelings but it happens in the heat of the moment. Otherwise, it’s just my conscience which won’t allow me to respect somebody I hate. But that doesn’t mean that I have forgotten all that you taught me.

I know you think that I feel jealous of the extra love that you shower on my sister. I know you think that I feel annoyed when you scold me for her mistakes.

But I’d like to clarify that I neither feel jealous nor annoyed – because I know your love for me is everlasting and your scoldings are just temporary.

I just want to tell you that sometimes I too require a little extra love from the both of you. A little extra care, a little more attention. Yes, I may not show it but sometimes I too need these things.

I know, you spent a lot on my education and that it hurts you when I don’t achieve the expected results. But that doesn’t mean I don’t try. I put in as much effort as I possibly can. But if I don’t achieve the desired results even then, it doesn’t mean I haven’t worked hard, dad. Believe me, I know the worth of hard-earned money and I know that I have to study not only for myself but for yours and mom’s futures too.

Mom and dad, I’ll work so hard that one day, you can finally say that this careless creature has made you proud. But keep believing in me, because right now, that is what I require most. I may be depressed but my dreams haven’t been shattered. I am working hard to achieve what you both have always dreamt of.

Dad, that day, when I had failed in my exams, I attempted suicide when you told me that I wasn’t good for anything. I felt shattered again. Not because it hurt me, but because you thought I was careless enough to think only of myself.

No, dad. I wasn’t being selfish but I didn’t want you and mom to feel ashamed of my failure.

Mom, do you remember when you woke up around midnight and found me writing something in my room? That was the time when I had proposed to a girl who I loved a lot. She told me no and said that I wasn’t worth her. I was feeling very lonely that day, but still, I didn’t let the emotions show up on my face. I didn’t want you and dad to know what was going on inside me.

Yes mom, I loved the girl I always kept talking to and you thought she was selfish and was talking to me only because she needed me for getting some work done. You thought she was hampering my studies.

Mom, I thought you would understand how happy your son was while talking to her. I don’t know if she was talking for selfish reasons or not but whenever I would talk to her, her smile would motivate me. Yes, I loved her but sadly she didn’t. I was heartbroken but I didn’t let my face express it, lest I be branded a coward.

Dad and mom, I know a time will come when you’ll feel that my peers have gotten settled and are earning well, while I may still be mediocre – please don’t feel disheartened – your son may earn an average amount, but will always work day and night to give you both the most comforting place in the world.

Dad, I left writing the day when you thought it was hampering my studies and career. Sometimes, I still quietly write but no, I’ll never show that all my writings are dedicated to my loneliness, failure and sour relations between you and me. Guitar, cricket bat, and that sketch pen are all lost now – because I never wanted you to say to mom, “Yeh ladka jindagi me kuch nahi kar payega. (This boy will never be able to do anything in his life.)

Dad, I hereby make a promise that I’ll marry the girl that you and mom choose for me. Whoever you feel is good for me will become my wife. But please don’t make a decision in hastiness. Please bring a girl who can make our family complete, not a girl who divides our family.

I have always loved how you said that we’ll never ask for dowry from during my marriage. It makes me feel even more proud when you say that my wife won’t just be your daughter-in-law, she’ll be your daughter.

Mom and dad, I love you for what you have given me. I respect you for what you have sacrificed for me. I have made many mistake. I confessed what a careless son like me keeps inside his heart.

This is something we are never supposed to say – because it is deemed that boys don’t care. But believe me, we do care – we care for our relationships, we care for parents, we care for their hard work and we care for each and everyone surrounding us. Sometimes, we just fail to express that we care.

Your careless-yet-caring son

You must be to comment.

More from Hardik Lashkari

Similar Posts

By Rakhi Bose

By Suchetana DuttaMaji

By Sajal Maji

Wondering what to write about?

Here are some topics to get you started

Share your details to download the report.









We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

Share your details to download the report.









We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

A native of Bhagalpur district – Bihar, Shalini Jha believes in equal rights for all genders and wants to work for a gender-equal and just society. In the past she’s had a year-long association as a community leader with Haiyya: Organise for Action’s Health Over Stigma campaign. She’s pursuing a Master’s in Literature with Ambedkar University, Delhi and as an MHM Fellow with YKA, recently launched ‘Project अल्हड़ (Alharh)’.

She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

The Transmen-ses campaign aims to tackle the issue of silence and disregard for trans men’s menstruation needs, by mobilising gender sensitive health professionals and gender neutral restrooms in Lucknow.

Read more about the campaign here.

A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

Share your details to download the report.









We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform Change.org, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on Change.org has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in Change.org’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

Sign up for the Youth Ki Awaaz Prime Ministerial Brief below