A lot of realisation happened to me after the eve teasing that happened to me on the bus.
#Firstly, we live in such a society that is simply dumb enough not to react to such shameful thing happening to women in front of their eyes. if the onlookers were thinking who to believe – me (shouting at the top my voice)or the man defending himself- then I have just a simple question to ask-“ which girl will like to raise such an issue involving her in a society that blames the women for the crimes against her?”
Further, I was even asked by another old man to look at the white beard of the accused in support of him. For men who defend themselves as” galti se lag gaya”. To them, I would say “girls anyway don’t like the touch of men even inadvertently, so maintaining distance is ideal. Even if that’s not possible, a girl has been given a sixth sense to know what a bad touch is.
The sadder part is even those who belonged to my own gender didn’t react. They were simply aghast with the whole situation.
If anyone ever tells me why am I making such a big deal out just an inappropriate touch of a man. Well, are you trying to tell me that I should wait something bigger to happen.
Hard facts – strikes right at the heart.
#Second realisation
Why should I be ashamed to discuss my ordeal in front of anyone? Who should be ashamed of anyways?
Me or that obnoxious man.
That man must have done it earlier and the girl would have remained silent enough that made him confident enough to continue his gross saga.
If anyone is giving the argument that it may ruin my reputation or dignity, you are just trying to tell me that I am at fault for what happened to me. So paradoxical yet true.
#Third realisation
I didn’t do enough. And I didn’t maybe because I was myself not well aware about my rights. I could have taken him to the police. Probably, I couldn’t think coherently enough at that moment. My mind just kept saying that I have to shout, shout to let people know; shout to let this man himself know that he just can’t get away with it. It took this incident to make me read about the various sections of IPC and if eve teasing is a criminal offence or not. It isn’t but one can very well book the person under sexual harassment sections of IPC relating to outraging of woman’s modesty.
All my girlfriends I shared the story with had one commonality. They all have had such experiences. Some have let their voice known having caught hold of the culprit and some just couldn’t know who just groped them.
In the end, I would say that this incident has made me stronger to face the world as well as the society I live in. At the same time, I also want people to denounce the deafening silence that they practice when they witness such incident. I have told this to my brothers and I am sure they will stand up when they need to. For that matter I will share with all my friends to create awareness about the inexcusable silence that our society practice that they think is ok to stay away. It’s not ok. You are encouraging the devious eve teaser to lay his hands on someone else. In that overcrowded bus, only my voice was shrieking in the pin drop silence of others. So, girls until society progresses and matures as it should, you raise the alarm for you own self.
As I ask my mother to share this on face book (as I am not there on face book), I am aware about the way I will be judged by many, for that matter, they are going to judge my mother too. That how disgraceful of her to tell it aloud, even her mother doesn’t care enough. That this isn’t something to be shared. My write up is targeted towards these people for it is you make the silent spectators. You condemn the girl for being raped, molested or eve teased.
“She was out late night”.
“She was wearing a short dress.”
“She wasn’t careful enough.”
These are accusations levelled on the victim. They forget that it is he who trespassed my privacy and insulted my dignity.
It’s time to change this way of thinking. As I write fearlessly, it is today that I feel liberated and become a true woman.