Fear of self

Posted by Purnima Shushama Sharma
September 29, 2017

NOTE: This post has been self-published by the author. Anyone can write on Youth Ki Awaaz.

You still fear your ownself.

You think you know yourself no better than anyone else? Oh or your best friend needs to tell you who you are? How you are? Why?

My head aches when people ask me about the future. Because I don’t know nor i am able to find out. Maybe because i am not interested in the future at all. I constantly live in the present and that is shameful. Unambitious. Dreamless. Aimless.

Because I have nothing to earn and a lot to loose?

So people like me cup themselves and expect nothing from anyone nor be in someone’s expectations. Since we don’t know what we want to do.

You can’t understand how that feels in a world constantly planning in 360 conscious to grow itself. Burn the odds in their steps. Reach to their own potential. Some by hook ,others by crook. The leftovers are us.

We can’t decide on what’s wrong or right and most of the times we end up messing up things in the name of risks. So we stop doing that as well. No we are not depressed or under confident. We are just sad that we don’t know ourselves. I don’t know if I will like something or not. So people tell me – try it. I do that. I like it. Suddenly i don’t like it anymore. With reasons ofcourse. A sick ass am I. Got bored? Nah. Nothing. It just feels caged.

So not doing anything or not risking anything is the solution? Nah. Nothing. That’s also sick. Another black hole of emptiness. Multipotential ,yet drowned. Like most of them.

We like everything and some are special but nothing keeps our hearts forever. Call me an ass. I accept it. No . Not proudly.

We are misunderstood a lot. Not blaming anyone but that’s how it is. Liars, mean, cold hearted, Hurtful. Also cheerful, happy, perfect, adorable .

It takes years to know what we people are. And i don’t know what this specie is called but all i can say is we don’t bite back. We don’t cut our hands. We never disrespect your souls and regardless of how sick we are, we will know how sick you are and will try our best to fix you.


A …ask my bestfriendwww.instagram.com/purnima_tr

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