This post has been self-published on Youth Ki Awaaz by tarshingo. Just like them, anyone can publish on Youth Ki Awaaz.

What A Skipped Biology Chapter At 13 Did To My Understanding Of Sex And Sexuality

More from tarshingo

By: Rishita Nandagiri

At 13, I could (correctly) explain the reproductive system of a plant. I’d been rather intimate with the anatomy of a flower, drawing awful nudes of stamens and filaments and anthers. I used to think I’d get extra marks for effort – the shading took a while to get just right.

I’ve never needed nor used that information in the years since.

That same year, my classmates and I spent an entire Biology lesson on ‘not learning’ about the human reproductive system. Our teacher glumly informed us that we needed to tear pages X through to Y out of our textbooks or use markers to strike through the pages to show that we’d be skipping a chapter. *The Ministry of Education had instructed schools not to teach the human reproductive system that year. The human body wasn’t a discussion that 13-year-olds needed to be a part of.

It wasn’t some cruel jape, where they wouldn’t teach us the concepts but test us on it at the end of the year anyway. It wasn’t that the texts were incorrect. It was quite simply that we didn’t need to talk about reproduction, sex, or any of the other related concepts because we were too young to have that information, our minds too innocent to be polluted by these ‘ideas’.

Nearly 16 years later, I’m still unsure of what they meant by that; what they’d hoped to achieve other than ensuring huge gaps of essential knowledge in the minds of an entire set of 13-year-olds (they did sort-of rectify their strange rule and rush through the reproductive system the next year).

Studying the human reproductive system in a biology class is not Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE), it doesn’t even come anywhere near it. Yet, it was the only opportunity for a potentially positive discussion (even so specific to biology) about one’s body – I did not have any other avenues or spaces to have that conversation, or to even spark the thought of needing to.

The silencing of these conversations only adds to the echo chamber of misinformation and myths that frame our knowledge of our bodies and of our selves. The silencing only allows incorrect and inaccurate information to run rife without any checks or counter-knowledge, and affects the choices that we make – the choices we think are all that we have.

My first understanding of consent was not in relation to my body but in relation to what it means to sign a document. I did not know how to apply consent to my own body. I did not know that consent was more than just a simple ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ – that neither of these is a simple answer.

There was never a conversation about safe sexual activity because abstinence was the default expectation. We never had a conversation about sexually transmitted infections (STIs) because that too was outside the realm of possibility. Condoms were not easily accessible. You would see them at busy pharmacies behind a locked glass door, with the price tag too far away to see. And even if you did manage to get some, you wouldn’t really have the first clue of what to do with them.

Heterosexuality was the only sexuality, there were no others – nothing to see or read or experience. There was no queering here.

This was all the information I needed to know. This was all the knowledge I should have been shading into my own world, into my own identities.

It disappoints me that all these years later, the same patterns continue, that we walk the same grooves that we’ve etched into the world, that young people continue to be deprived of crucial, necessary information under the (ironic) guise of protection, that misinformation and myths and inaccuracies fester unchecked, that autonomies and identities and selves remain suppressed and unquestioned with no avenue for exploration.

But, is it enough to champion CSE alone? Will knowing change everything – will it clear the slate and let you draw new designs, explore new patterns?

I, perhaps naively, used to think it was enough – that knowledge was power, that it would cause tectonic shifts by the mere virtue of knowing. And perhaps it can, but I cannot ignore the thought that knowing something does not automatically translate into doing something or being able to do something. CSE, as with everything else, doesn’t work in a vacuum.

When I was a little bit older – nearly nineteen – I waited anxiously for my period and roundly berated myself. I should not be in this position, I knew better. And I did know better than to risk pregnancy or an STI – I’d learnt how to use a condom by then – and yet, there I was.

I was too afraid, too shy, too overcome to march into a pharmacy and ask for condoms – no matter how many ‘chattri hai?’  advertisements (Condom ads using a chattri, an umbrella, as a symbol of protection) I’d watched on television. Despite every mental argument I had with myself about how I wasn’t doing anything wrong, that I needed to protect myself, that I was young and liberated – I was too afraid of being found out, of being asked questions, of being judged, of getting into trouble, of being called names, of family and friends finding out and thinking of me differently.

My fear was inarticulate and probably without any basis in fact, but it was vast and it was overwhelming and I was consumed by it. The guilt, the constant on-edge, the secrecy, and the relief of my period finally showing up – none of that is how it should be.

Because no matter all my knowledge, I still couldn’t act on it.

A lot of this walk down memory lane is filtered through (class, caste, able-bodied, and passing) privilege – a lot of access to spaces and knowledge and books and people and power. This privilege both coddles and protects me but is not afforded to many people for any number of reasons.. And that needs to be understood within our CSE curriculum too, in our efforts at addressing the larger contexts as well.

The more I advocate for CSE programmes, and CSE language in policy documents and guidelines, the more I have to remind myself that it isn’t a magic bullet, it isn’t the one-shot answer. It forms a cornerstone, certainly, but our efforts to facilitate the choices we talk about need to align. CSE is not a blanket solution but needs to be localised and constructed to address local spaces, local needs and local realities.

As we work on ensuring access to CSE for all young people – disabled, LGBTQI, in low-resource settings – we need to also ensure that our efforts target attitudes, ensure access to services, and dismantle legal, social, cultural, economic barriers.

CSE alone is not going to dismantle the gates, turn gatekeepers into allies, or strike down discriminatory laws that contribute to an unsafe environment. CSE needs to work in an enabling environment: in one that shifts rights language from something just talked about to something one can exercise, grasp, understand, engage with and know. We need to build those enabling environments simultaneously and make sure that all that knowledge is translated into action.

The author’s experience is from another country, but the issues are similar across several countries of south and southeast Asia and the Middle East and North Africa. 

This article was originally published here in the February 15, 2015 edition of In Plainspeak, an e-magazine on issues of sexual and reproductive health in the Global South.

Picture Credit: Awaiting Bloom

You must be to comment.

More from tarshingo

Similar Posts

By Nivedita Srivastava

By Harishchandra Sukhdeve

By India Development Review (IDR)

Wondering what to write about?

Here are some topics to get you started

Share your details to download the report.

We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

Share your details to download the report.

We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

A native of Bhagalpur district – Bihar, Shalini Jha believes in equal rights for all genders and wants to work for a gender-equal and just society. In the past she’s had a year-long association as a community leader with Haiyya: Organise for Action’s Health Over Stigma campaign. She’s pursuing a Master’s in Literature with Ambedkar University, Delhi and as an MHM Fellow with YKA, recently launched ‘Project अल्हड़ (Alharh)’.

She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

The Transmen-ses campaign aims to tackle the issue of silence and disregard for trans men’s menstruation needs, by mobilising gender sensitive health professionals and gender neutral restrooms in Lucknow.

Read more about the campaign here.

A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

Share your details to download the report.

We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

Sign up for the Youth Ki Awaaz Prime Ministerial Brief below