As kids, we all loved playing, didn’t we? Of course! In fact, some of us still do.
So, one day, I was playing on a sweet summer evening after returning from school. That day, I was exhausted, tired and drowsy. After all, if you spend your whole day studying in school, there can be no better reason for the resulting boredom. The icing on the cake was that I had left one of my notebooks behind at home – and so, I had to bear up with my teacher’s scolding. So yeah, it was a bad day until something happened and turned it into the worst day of my childhood – which I realise only now, when I’m all grown up.
Returning back to my story – I was playing at my grandma’s place with my cousins. Since I had no cousin sisters, I was very much like my brothers, when it came to playing rough-and-tough, Sometimes, I used to run so fast that I beat them in races.
I have this blurry picture in my mind of me running down the stairs as fast as I could. When I was about to reach the last stair, I saw an old man with a stick. He had probably come to meet my grandma. I remember him being dressed in white and obstructing me from reaching my brother who had been teasing me.
This old man forcibly stopped me using his rough hands. He held me by grabbing my shoulders and he made sure that I stood parallel to him without any space in between. Being a child, I didn’t know what he was up to.
Then he started his ‘game’ – his ‘dirty game’. While holding me, he slightly leaned towards me to make himself more ‘comfortable’. Then he started rubbing, stroking and kneading his private parts with mine in such a synchronised way that I was stunned. I endlessly tried to move and run to escape that ‘dirty game’, but that man didn’t let me move at all.
During all this, I thought of what this ‘game’ was called. Why wasn’t he letting me move? After all, I desperately wanted to show him my move by running as fast as I could from him and his ‘dirty game’. But he just wouldn’t let me go. I struggled and wrestled not only with him but also with the molestation and physical maltreatment he perpetrated by taking advantage of his power.
I ended up being a survivor of child abuse.
Featured image used for representative purposes only.
If you are a survivor, parent or guardian who wants to seek help for child sexual abuse, or know someone who might, you can dial 1098 for CHILDLINE (a 24-hour national helpline) or email them at [email protected] You can also call NGO Arpan on their helpline 091-98190-86444, for counselling support.