Maybe frustration is not the right word to say for what I feel when phase of transition comes from 1 stage to another. Maybe it is more of stress and anxiety. I myself have faced this at different transition levels from school to Bachelors and from Bachelors to grad school, then from grad school to professional world(currently a Gandhi Fellow). This might have happened because I had been in my own comfort zone which had to be left while going from one phase to another. On the other hand, the temptations from the next phase also call for us to move forward and leave the comfort zone in order to achieve something bigger than what we have right now.
As a part of curriculum of my fellowship, I, currently, am living in a village of Surat district with a motive of knowing the community from within. The village I am living in is divided into two sections – one of kathiyawadis and the other harpativaas (backward class) along with the jogiwada (class of beggars). There is quite a distinction in these communities in terms of their lifestyle and living standards. The kathiyawadis are progressive and are moving towards advancement at a very fast pace. On the other hand, the backward class is fighting hard to better their living standards and provide their kids the basic commodities of healthy living. The families(mostly kathiyawadis) which have managed to reach the standards like those of urban middle class families are in the transition phase from rural to urban India. Here are few observations made in last 15 days of my stay regarding these transiting families (Here particularly respective families of 2 brothers are described with whom I have been living):
1. There are 4 members in the family sitting together in one hall: one watching television(usually the mom), other 3(dad and 2 children in their early twenties) are busy with their smartphones either chatting or playing some silly but interesting game. This is the practice of almost daily.
2. The usual conversations are limited to “Khana kha lo” and similar orders for the common day to day processes. No deeper conversations observed in these many days.
3. The grandparents are hardly talked to, frequency is as low as once in 3 days.
4. The home keeper(the mother) wants every modern facility and equipment in her home but will work in traditional way only, which ultimately makes the household work more cumbersome despite of availability of all the facilities.
5. They can spend on all the unnecessary stuff like clothes every month but an uninvited guest(their kid’s friend or a cousin) at dinner hurts them a lot and suddenly that 1 extra mouth to feed becomes financial burden on them.
5. They have everything required for a healthy and prosperous living but are always unhappy.
Many more such observations are made everyday which saddens me that how smaller we get in humanity and our ethics as we grow bigger economically. This is the state of the rural India which is trying really hard to urbanize itself such that it wants each n every commodity which says they are a modern family just to show but not to use. The affection and care which I have always seen and had in my family inspite of all the sufferings we had is replaced by isolation and selfishness in these transiting families. Members of the families don’t even know each other’s feelings or what is happening in their respective individual workspace. They don’t even bother to know about each other. That’s how our nation is growing economically but deteriorating in the happiness index.