The Moment I Chose Engineering, I Stopped Being The ‘Perfect’ Daughter

Posted by Rajshri Patil in #BHL
October 11, 2017
Editor's note: This post is a part of #BHL, a campaign by BBC Media Action and Youth Ki Awaaz to redefine and own the label of what a 'bigda hua ladka or ladki' really is. If you believe in making your own choices and smashing this stereotype, share your story.

I am from a typical middle class Marathi family,located in quite a well developed city,but being a bigdi hui ladki has nothing to do with where you live.

So, everything was fine till my schooling. I used be the sincere child and the class topper. Basically, I was the daughter my parents were proud of. But things started to change when I chose to pursue engineering instead of medical studies. Medical sciences is what my parents expect a girl to do.

According to them, “Engineering is not a ladkiyo wala field (Engineering is not a field for girls.)” A girl should become doctor! And since then, all their tantrums and taunts of calling me a bigadi hui ladki, began. I chose to listen to myself and that became a problem and hence I was bigdi hui.

Things became worse when I completed my engineering and started working. I love working, but my family doesn’t. There is a taboo attached to working late night IT shifts for them. And now when I told them that I want to marry a the man I love, who isn’t from the same caste,  I become the “hath se nikali , bigadi hui ladki (A girl that got out of hand.)” for them. According to them, I would tarnish the family image by being selfish . How would marrying a guy I love be selfish?

If not caring about society, doing the job I like and fearlessly loving someone and admitting it has made me a bigdi hui ladki, then I am happy to be one!