18 Ways To Be A ‘Bigdi Hui Ladki’ In Society’s Eyes

Editor's note: This post is a part of #BHL, a campaign by BBC Media Action and Youth Ki Awaaz to redefine and own the label of what a 'bigda hua ladka or ladki' really is. If you believe in making your own choices and smashing this stereotype, share your story.

The concept of independent women is something that our society still finds hard to accept. I was born and raised in Mumbai – the city of dreams. In my family, both my brother and I were treated equally. When I say equally, it means that it was okay for me to earn and for my brother to learn how to cook. In our house, opinions were never imposed on us, we had the freedom to make choices and mistakes. We also had the support to learn from our mistakes.

But well, our society is really funny. If you talk too much, they call you a chatter box and if you share information, they call you a gossip queen. If you complain about anything, they’ll call you a nagging hag. But if you keep quiet and mind your own business, you’re too proud.

So I decided to compile a list of ways that could make you a bigdi hui ladki (a spoilt/bad girl)

1. If You Work Late Night

2. If You Have An Opinion

3. If You Do Not Wear Indian Clothes

4. If  You Don’t Wear The ‘Symbols Of Marriage’

5. If You Talk To Men

6. If You Have The Courage To Say ‘No’

7. If You Choose Your Career Over Marriage

8. If You Want To Be Financially Independent

9. If You Want To Ride A Bike

10. If You Ever Want A Divorce

11. If You Say No To Dowry

12. If You Don’t Change Your Last Name After Getting Married

13. If You Get A Promotion Because Of Your Skills

14. If You Ask For Your Rights

15. If You Express Your Fears

16. If You Go Out For A Movie With Your Friends

17. If You Express Your Love

18. If You Refuse To Bear Pain

The list can be endless.

In the end, all I can say is that our society is prejudiced and will always looked at you with judgmental eyes. They will label you as a bigdi hui ladki no matter what, so just enjoy your lives!

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