The idea of killing ‘the relation’ or ‘the self’

Posted by Manish
October 24, 2017


Today if we use word “relationship” it does not need to explain which relation we are talking about. It’s a self-explanatory word, of course other relations also co-exist which cannot be undermined in any manner. But the most complicated relation if we talk, it must be the relation between girl-friend and boy-friend. I do not want to generalize the concept of love for everyone or saying this that every boy or girl falls in love even once in her/his life because in India even in today’s era the definition and the criteria of love for a girl or even for a boy is still decided by parents. Actually, they do not choose love; they present you to a person, with whom you are   supposed to learn the concept of love. It remains the matter of confusion that we really get the love or just live with a relation only.

But there is a number of young people who are in relation, who dared to choose their choice (of course future of relation is still in hand of parents perhaps). Here, I want to talk about only one concept regarding the issue of relationship that is ‘suicide’. There are many other things in a relation which can be discussed, it can be said that number of suicide in a relation is not very large or it is not a political problem or an economic crisis, somebody can say that there are many problems which are more important to be discussed. Nevertheless, if we look into the matter with the lens of sociology a single case should be counted. I want to look into the reasons or circumstances which force a person to use this words ‘I do not want to live anymore’ ‘I want to kill myself’ ‘I cannot imagine my life without her/him’ and many more. We actually do not commit suicide (which should not be) but we use these types of phrases to prove ourselves or our love. Again it is not compulsory that in every relation these things happen, some relations achieve their destinations.

When we hurt in a relation we cry, we break the things, we keep ourselves in home for many days, we do not meet anyone or go for outing and many others mechanisms we use to keep ourselves calm and strong, I think these types should be happened in a relation; not daily but sometimes. Even relation is going well; we should do fight intentionally to enjoy the feelings of being special when you come to know that there is someone who knows the value of your tears or smile. But why do we use word ‘suicide’ in such lovely world, which is abstract obviously, but still a world where we want to live always with our partner.

Actually, a friend of mine told me two days before that he wants to kill himself because of some issues in his relation. I admit that I was the wrong guy to whom he had discussed his problem as I could not help him or suggest some worthy; Then yesterday I was thinking what should have I told him to console, ‘think about parents?’ Of course not, actually parents are the main villains in these types of situations, some may be exceptions. ‘His degrees or career’ how rubbish? Means of course in a matter of love where somebody is ready to leave the world; would think of this bull shit? ‘The stories and examples of our any known’ of course, these things make the situations more complicated, I think so, because we cannot generalize the issues. So I had not anything to say that’s why I remained silent. But seriously, I felt like a handicapped on that time because I was not able to do anything.

Now, if I think the worst condition in any relation, I am not able to get anyone which is more important than love (if love is in true sense). After this, there is question of ‘love or life’? Seriously if we have life, we have the chance to get her or him in our life. And there is no chance of coming back of him or her; we have even the life to live alone. Every discussion finishes if life gone, but many things and surprises would be there if we decide to live. I am not deciding here, but I think if any relation demands the price of your life it is better to kill the relation than the self. People say that he/she will know the value of mine after me. But it does not matter who values you or who does not if you are not in the world. These types of assertions or statements can be used to force someone think emotionally but I think the idea of suicide come in you after killing many emotions itself. And again if the relation has not anything to force you to live, it is better to leave it.

In conclusion, the problems come in every relation the reasons can be anything but we can solve the issue while living after dying we can leave only a story for neighbors or a burden for parents; even the person for whom someone leave the world would talk that there used be a girl or a boy who had left the world for him/her. But the meaning or the lesson of love we wanted to teach that person would not be able to reach him/her without us.


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