Bolly-what?

Posted by Cheryl Rynjah
November 23, 2017

Self-Published

“Tu cheez badi hai mast mast”

A bouncy feel good Bollywood tune equating the actress to a “hot commodity”. Being an Indian to the core it’s in my blood to want to indulge in Bollywood movies from time to time. However I’m always struck by how immensely sexist these movies are and how they present such an absurd message for men and women. I understand that movies in general are supposed to be commercial, the best way to do that is to get “hot young” starlets. I’ve watched so many Bollywood movies I could write one myself. It all starts with a man/boy who’s unsure of himself or in a tight situation but he’s honest and generally a good person, he sets his sights on a girl who does not indulge his advances infact in some instances she may even be rude to our poor hero. But fear not dear audience because our hero is “persistent”. Even though the girl has made it clear in the beginning that she isn’t interested but maybe she is? And dear audience it is this maybe that turns out hero into the most ardent student of stalker 101. He belittles her, berates her, keeps popping up everywhere and I mean everywhere and her poor heart cannot take it. He may perform an act or two of heroics leading her to totally abandon her initial instincts about him and get on the Bollywood Sexist train. That is the recipe for a blockbuster, put in a catchy song or two with lyrics reminiscent of the ones quoted above and maybe drop an item number of her drapped in a saree that barely covers all, because sales.

I’m also reminded of so many Bollywood movies where there are two devis, one good and one bad. The bad Devi smokes, drinks, sleeps around, stands up for herself, isn’t religious because she can’t do pujas and wears western inspired wear. Whereas the good Devi is everything she isn’t, she’s docile and sweet, cooks, does pujas like it’s no one’s business and is the very definition of Indian culture. *Wink, wink, nudge, nudge Cocktail with Deepika and Saif* So it’s obvious that our hero would leave his bad Devi for the good Devi.

So what lesson does Bollywood teach us?

1. You have to be attractive, no one will want you if you’re not attractive

2. You have to be the ideal Indian woman, meaning listen to your Men!

3. Do not have an opinion, because turn off.

4. Stalking turns into love

Queue dance number. 💃

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