Had an argument with your colleague? Don’t agree with your manager about something on the same project? Or didn’t like the way you were treated in a meeting? Well, these are some of the most common problems one comes across in their professional life. Thus, it becomes important to handle the situation and smartly get off from argument, says BVH Prasad, a renowned philosopher.
Your words assume great importance in every conversation that you hold. Regardless of how good your intensions are, the choice of wrong words can worsen any issue. They can actually cost you a lot. On the other hand, polite words can calm down a person.
According to BVH Prasad, having an understanding of the right words for the right situation is one of the most valuable life skills you can develop. But the main question that arises is how do you choose your words carefully in heated arguments?
Linda Hill, the co-author of Collective Genius: The Art and Practice of Leading Innovation and Being the Boss: The 3 Imperatives for Becoming a Great Leader explains “With conflict, there are typically negative emotions involved, and most of us aren’t comfortable with those kinds of feelings.”
As a matter of fact, it is our anger that makes us fumble demeaning words or things we don’t even mean at times. It becomes important to realize that a lot is at stake when we are aggressive.
“With conflict, there are typically negative emotions involved, and most of us aren’t comfortable with those kinds of feelings,” says Linda Hill.
Instead of figuring out the actual cause of disagreement, people attempt to prove the other person wrong. As a result, the issues are usually framed as to who’s right or who’s wrong. BVH Prasad states that the misalignment between what a person says and what others understand happens to be the root cause of conflicts.
Listed below are some of the most effective ways to avoid a heated argument:
- Put yourself in other person’s shoes and analyze the situation
- It’s important to understand that two people cannot always think alike. Thus, you should consider other’s opinion too. You don’t have to agree with it, but at least listen up
- Avoid replying to the person when you’re angry. You’ll end up regretting what you said out of anger. And remember, it’s OK to walk away and return to the discussion after some time
- Avoid saying anything harsh or blaming the other person
- Making use of ‘calm’ language to make a point is always way more effective than using aggressive terms, agrees BVH Prasad
- In order to sound more convincing, you can use evidences based on facts and statistics to back up your argument
- Knowing when to give up is one of the most important things in an argument. There is no point in dragging a conversation when you realize that there is no end to it. It is nothing but sheer wastage of time and energy
- Asking the question like “Why did that upset you?” or “How are you seeing this situation?” can help you in understanding the cause of conflict. This can also help you in figuring out the way to avoid it in future
We hope these tips help you in making the right choice of words in an argument.