Faded emotions

Posted by Garima Tyagi
November 15, 2017

NOTE: This post has been self-published by the author. Anyone can write on Youth Ki Awaaz.

​There are times when you feel numb. No emotions, No feelings. All you want then is to sit back and try to figure out the situations you’re going through and try to figure out what exactly is happening to you. You feel like you’re surrounded with some sort of negative vibes, negative people and then you started blaming the environment for such dull and low moments you’re facing.
You ask for your solitude instead of being with people. You try to run away from the life you’re stuck in. You just start getting annoyed by people around you. All you could figure out is that you don’t want to be stuck with this and want to escape from here. You do not get to the exact reasons for such emotions and feeling. You  see your emotions fading away and turning into something low and dark. “Happy” has just became a mere word to you not a state of emotion. There’s no brighter side you could think of. Everything becomes dull for you. You can’t even express your state of emotional crisis to anyone because you, yourself can’t figure it all out. You want to get cheered up but you could not find anything which makes you so. Every emotion starts being illusionary. Everyone you see happy seems fake to you, since that happyy- emotion is just an illusion people use to cover up their faded version of soul. You started thinking people as sad humans faking around. And this all becomes more annoying even with the passage of time. You started feeling like this adult human world is all a lie.  Your solitude makes you comfortable since you feel yourself away from the emotionally faded people.You think people around you are sad and depressed and they’re making your life much like that. It all seems infectious to you. This all vulnerable state of emotions seems contagious. You want to change and be the light among them so that they could feel those happy – emotions around them And rather see the positivity inside them. But you fail to be one. You’re fading for no reason. You’re loosing your charm for no reason. You’re effecting your mind for no reason. You’re blaming the energies for no reason. But When it comes to figure out what makes you dull and low then you should realize it was your own illusionary mind. The energies inside you, were eating you. Your mind is just showing the people you have bad experiences with. Your mind is manipulating your own vibes which you carry inside. Gradually if one would stop blaming then they can get their faded pieces back together. Your own vision of seeing the world gets changed due to the manipulation. The reason you were hating the life you stuck at was not the people but what all happened with them, wasn’t the place but where all things took place and wasn’t their vibes but their deeds. So with time, you could realize that if you try to forgive, forget and apologize for what you’ve and they’ve done then you’d see the positivity inside you and them. They’re not bad people. Their intentions were never so bad or evil. If you sit back and try to figure out and analyse the intentions behind what they’ve done will probably make your mind realise that certain negative things should not be assumed.  It takes time to realize and coming out of the blues. It depends upon your priorities you give to people, whether they will show you the brighter side and make you think differently or they’ll lead you to think more about the situations you’re facing. What one should believe is that time will heal. And it takes lot of patience to see the good sunny days. Not every day of your life will be rosy. People come into your lives to teach you a lesson. Those dull and low moments are nothing but making you stronger for future. Those people whom you’ve done wrong to or the people who have done wrong to you are also your lessons on how to adjust in this world. But there’ll be people who’ll just be there by your side, not to leave you with lesson but to make you realize that there are always be a light in every dark path. You may get them sooner or later. But you’ll.
Get you someone  who helps you do that all.  And makes you realise that you still have the positive energies, you have been dealing with lot of shit but it’s okay, you should always try to see the positive in people and helps get back your pieces together. Be with those  around whom you feel real not faded. We all have become numb and clueless but we never loose our wisdom so try to use that and focus on what you’re having inside. What all you’ve done was wrong at first but it’s time to change yourself and not to repeat it. You can find your kind of people everywhere but you just need the vision. In that place which you consider fake and faded, get you someone real. Someone who just makes you realize the beauty everything around you holds even if you can’t see it and the beauty your soul has kept inside. The exceptionally happy people who never left your side. Whose vibes always feel like a home to you. Who have  always loved your flaws and tried to make you a better human being each day.
And there’ll be a day, when you’ll Be that ” someone “ in other’s life too. 

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