If I see you again

Posted by Apurva Joshi
November 15, 2017

NOTE: This post has been self-published by the author. Anyone can write on Youth Ki Awaaz.

Days have passed by, it’s been four years since we last met.

It’s funny how I could feel nothing for that much amount of time. I still remember the day when I last saw your face, I’ve locked it in my memories, never to open again. But I know it is there. I am over you, I do not think of you at all. And even if I do, it’s just the ferocity in your eyes when you walked away, without even saying the last goodbye. I remember how I had stayed there, waiting for you to come back. But you didn’t. And today, I am actually glad you didn’t. But after so many years of being without you, I think of what will happen if we were to meet again. We would be two different persons entirely. I believe I must’ve had some impact on you, maybe I would’ve changed you in some irreversible way like you did to me. And if we ever did cross paths, would you look at me in a known way, recognizing me as the girl who loved you unconditionally, but you walked away? Or would you just walk away, neglecting my existence even there, like you did before? I don’t know.

But if I ever had to see you again, the world would stop for me. It’s been a long time, but it has proven to be powerless in making my love fall. I know if I ever see you again, my heart would stop beating, the time would stand still and a melodious tune will fill the air. But then I’d remember how you walked away, abandoning me, leaving me shivering, devoid of your love. I’d remember how helpless I’d been then, but how you didn’t return. I’d relive all the misery again, in a few moments and with moist eyes, I’ll smile. Yes, I will smile.

And now that it has been years, I’ve learned to love myself more than anyone else. And for the sake of that love, I’ll walk away this time

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