5 Reasons This Powerful Poem On Being ‘Bigdi Hui’ Is Just What Indian Society Needs

Editor's note: This post is a part of #BHL, a campaign by BBC Media Action and Youth Ki Awaaz to redefine and own the label of what a 'bigda hua ladka or ladki' really is. If you believe in making your own choices and smashing this stereotype, share your story.

It doesn’t take much to be told you’re going ‘wrong’ these days, does it? Whether you‘re independent or living with your parents, a student or earning your way – it doesn’t matter. You don’t play nice with society’s rules, you’re ‘bigdi hui/bigda hua’.

And that’s exactly the labels Jaya Tiwari is proudly owning. Founder of India’s first female mission rock band, she knows all about breaking society’s rules and being a ‘bigdi hui ladki’.

Here are 5 reasons why her powerful poem is super relevant for Indian society right now:

1. Choosing an unconventional career is still looked down upon

Want to be a musician, writer, artist or anything that is not the ‘appropriate’ career choices (think engineering or medicine)? Yeah, you’re ruining you life and while you’re at it, society too.

2. Hanging out with the opposite sex means you’re a ‘bad’ girl/boy

Woe on you if you are caught hanging out with guys (or if you’re a guy, with girls). You’re immediately pegged down as someone who is going ‘bad’ and is probably up to all kinds of things, which ‘good’ kids shouldn’t do.

3. Wearing certain kinds of clothes is just a no-no

Sorry, do you like wearing crop-tops? Or even shorts or mini skirts? Remember, your clothes now define what kind of person you are, and the shorter your clothes, the more ‘bigdi hui’ you are.

4. Refusing to get married early (or at all) makes you stubborn

Expecting to choose your life partner and the time you want to get hitched (if at all)? Well, don’t because society expects you to get married before your ‘expiration date’, that’s surely coming soon.

5. Refusing to live a life dictated by your parents makes you undisciplined

What to study, whether or not to date, what clothes to wear, who to marry – you shouldn’t get to decide these.  It’s not like it’s your life, right? It’s totally society’s prerogative (and your parents) to tell you, every breathing moment, what to do. Personal choice, what personal choice?

And the list could go on and on. So you know what? Embrace it. Be a ‘bigdi hui/bigda hua’ person. All it’s going to mean is that you’ve decided to live life your own way, and have the courage to say no, and guess what? That’ll be worth it.

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