Kindly review this

Posted by Gagandeep Singh Khalsa
November 25, 2017

NOTE: This post has been self-published by the author. Anyone can write on Youth Ki Awaaz.

Kindly review this as I became very exicited when I heard of this I want a very constructive & detailed feedback ,so as to know weather I am going in the right direction, & if no then how can I improve my writing.

Although this is a poem & I know that it was written that there would be no feedback on poem or fiction,but please kindly consider this request, I have written this on my own  but I really want you to review it & give me detailed feedback


Strive for success makes life dull
Be in the present or you will be null

No one is clear & confusion is spreading
Strings of mood swings are daily threading

Know yourself or you will be lost
Dreams & Wishes will become frost

People will try to pull you back
Self Motivation & confidence would crack

An early need of understanding should be acquired
What do you want to do & what is required

Your work should be your key to happiness
Virtually social seams artificial & crappiness

You got a dream you got to protect it
People may criticise you ,just neglect it

Weed out traits like anger,ego or greed
Stop the discrimination on the colour or creed

Master your profession & it will lead you success
Know your LOC,what is sufficient & what is excess

Waste your time,or you will not know
What are your hits & what you need to blow

Hobbies & activities are the best of your friends
They can help you with the latest trends

They may say,that your performance is low
But you be smart ,like the Thirsty crow

Routine work will make you soon dry
Your juices will be gone,& you will be a fry

Asking frequently,may sometimes leads you down
But clearing yourself will ultimately leads to crown

They will convince you that your thoughts are not clear
But how awesome you may be,they just can’t hear

You can do it ,however you are slow
Praises would not come back to back in a row

Times of hardships,will soon be passed
You will categorized as clergy & classed

Understand your responsibilities & you will gradually grow
Slowly,Smartly,Steadily release the arrow from the bow

Stand against the world & be there alone
Whatsoever trying to catch you ,break their bone

& Don’t you worry as GOD is always there
Respect your parents,remember your prayers

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Thanks & Regards

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