What I Learnt About Holding On To People Or Letting Them Go

Posted by Sariya Ali
November 22, 2017

Today, early in the morning, I read something related to fighting back to keep things in your life. Seriously?

This is something I would have done back when I was 16. But no – not today. There are little things which life gives us in the blocks of a puzzle. We just have to keep on fixing it and obviously understand the meaning behind each block.  With this little write up, I will share some blocks I found in the puzzle of my life.


Having been born at the last stage of Maslow’s pyramid (thanks to our parents and previous generations), the problems of our generation have started revolving around relationships. I am not in denial – I have been through one. But there is a little secret to unearth – we ourselves make our lives complicated.

When I talk about effortlessness, I don’t intend to be selfish one bit. Respect what others do to you, give them back as much as you can. But when it comes to ‘holding on’ or ‘making someone stay’, this is where we start tangling up the strings.

To begin with, if holding on to someone involves dishonesty, then believe me, it is worth moving on. On the other hand, if you end up making hard efforts to make someone stay, then it is something worth letting go. The first situation is still easy, but it is the latter case where we fail.

The situation is quite simple – in making one stay, what we focus on is what we want, and in such a case, we end up not understanding the other person’s decision. When you can’t understand yourself, how do you expect the other to do the same? Keep your expectations high till the time they are worth keeping.

With age, it must be understood that it is you who should choose your peer. Don’t let the peer choose you. Relationships have to be positive, healthy and not something that keep on sucking your energy. There are more important goals to achieve with that energy – like saving the earth or humanity as a whole. Make your relationships effortless. If it is meant to stay, it won’t go. It may even come back. There is not even a bit you can do about it. It is not about giving up, but about knowing the point till it is worth not giving up.

First of all, it is all in your mind. Secondly, you got the strings of your mind – so be the puppeteer and not the puppet. Obviously, there are things you miss, a lot of it. However, do know that what you miss is not the person but the moments you made with that person – so cherish those moments.

The efforts you make for that one person who is gone – give them to others who need it. Inevitably, humanity is dying, and love is depleting every day. Make every day worth loving. Once you reach this stage, you will unwind another secret of life – it is not the person but the feeling with which you have been associating. There are definitely other people worth that feeling, who are waiting for it – so invest in them.

Every day is worth cherishing. Love yourself. A whole universe of happiness and satisfaction lies within yourself. Make your energy positive for yourself, and everything else will fall in its place. And at last, learn about a ‘block’ every day – it makes life easier.


Featured image used for representative purposes only.