Posted by Alisha Verma
November 6, 2017

NOTE: This post has been self-published by the author. Anyone can write on Youth Ki Awaaz.

I have always been  very conscious near men. Before you judge me, hear me out.


    • I was told from my childhood that I needed to be careful near men.
    • As I grew up I saw for myself what that meant.
    • The ‘innocent’ touches in bus or the nudges near my breast in auto never went unnoticed.
    • But, I couldn’t do anything about it.
    • Not because I didn’t want to. But because I was told that otherwise ‘they’ would do something.
    • I never understood who these ‘they’ were. I still don’t.
    • I was said to wear ‘decent’ clothes.
    • If I opened my hair, leave men even other girls would give me my character certificate.
    • So, to sum it up, I have had almost zero male interaction, not because I didn’t want to but because the society taught me that men were beasts.
    • Now , I am afraid. Really afraid , because I see men who don’t seem to be beasts.
    • They are progressive. They talk about periods and the pain and don’t shy away from “taboos”.
    • They are human and normal and good.
    • But are all of them like that?
    • I can’t even judge. Because I don’t know the difference between a good guy and a bad one. Because the world told me not to interact.
    • But isn’t it funny. Now the world wants me to marry one of them. And sleep with him on the first night itself.
    • I am only human. Excuse my laziness, if that is what you want to call it, but I need time. More time.
    • I find it funny, that I am told to enjoy all liberty only after marriage and after marriage my liberty is flung out of the window.
    • I had a life, I thought. But when was it mine?
    • When was I at freedom to take my own decisions?
    • I wonder and wonder.
    • While someone else takes the decisions for me.
    • They say I am a good wife.
    • But I don’t want to be.
    • I am forced to be a mother.
    • I don’t want to be.
    • I am expected to be happy.
    • I am not.
    • I want a life.
    • Oh! I am not allowed to have one.
    • Now, they call me a man hater.
    • But, I was not taught how to love them.

This is my side of the story.I am not a man hater.

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