I have grown so used to my own company that sometimes its difficult to let others in that space. I feel detached even in the crowd – tired of having to wear a fake smile and conform to others belief of how a girl of my age should act .We are all entitled to our own opinions , but what becomes difficult is imposing that on somebody else. It’s easy to judge other and put labels on them , but looking into your own flaws and accepting , if not rectifying them is the arduous task. What isn’t the norm in our eyes is often branded abnormal or unusual , whereas the very definitions are relative themselves ! When wil we start appreciating others idiosyncrasies and stop confining ourselves within our own cocoons ?
There was time when the pretentiousness and attempts to blend in would work out well and I would take off the mask as I sunk into the bed .It was almost difficult to relate to the two personalities residing within the same person. But as I grew up , and embraced my own individuality the process became a lot easier. I eventually gave up the attempt to try and fit in. I stopped trying to mould myself to someone’s liking. It was difficult for others to view things from my perspective , so i stopped justifying myself . I stopped expecting others to believe that I find more happiness in my own company than hanging out with my peers and convincing them that it wasn’t circumstantial but choice . I chose to keep my problems to myself and not seek social sympathy and that everybody believe that I have the ideal life. I stopped trying to refute that. I stopped comparing myself to others and stretching my boundaries , because lowering my expectations and accepting my limitations and their diligence helped me enjoy both our success better ..
I am probably not the best version of myself .. but at least , i don’t have regrets about it !
P.S. avoid my grammetical errors.