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Rang le mohe Apne hi rang main

Posted by Nabila Nouman
November 25, 2017

NOTE: This post has been self-published by the author. Anyone can write on Youth Ki Awaaz.

The title might mislead you into thinking that this is a mushy romantic story, but no, it’s something different. This is about an expectation that is demanded of each girl of our “sanskari” society. Despite the fact that we have made laudable efforts in bridging the gender gap and shattering the glass ceiling, this expectation still holds its ground. So let me unveil the protagonist of my story , the expectation, that once married, girls will shed each and every trace of their individuality and as they rightly call it, ” adopt her husband’s family’s ways” or better still ” unke rang main rang jaana”. How presumptuous is that! Isn’t it enough that she has already sacrificed her home and hearth for the sake of her hubby?

Picture this, a girl getting married , at an age of 25 ( average), independent, educated , cultured, opinionated and brought up in a certain way , is supposed to give up her lifestyle, habits and the very qualities that shape her identity.How is it even possible for any individual, let alone a girl? Let me explain how this illogical expectation works. A girl should ‘adapt’ herself to her new home , which actually means, live the life your new family lives. Beginning from the food, dressing, socializing, sleeping, everything should be in perfect harmony with your family or you might cause offence to many.If some dish is prepared in a certain way, then don’t you dare messing with the sacrosanct recipe or your chances of ruining your reputation are quite high. Don’t say that this is how I used to be, rather be what your family wants you to be. Being a girl, it’s expected of you to fit the bill or else face the ire of society which will instantly judge you for being an obnoxious person who cares the least for her husband or his family.

Times have changed, unfortunately mindsets have not. Can’t  we just give up this unfair ‘expectation’? Is it so difficult to accept a person for who she/he  is? I won’t even play the feminist card, raising the clichéd question, why not men? This is something that should not be expected out of any human, for God sake!

A little love and acceptance is all that a person needs, remember , she has sacrificed something very precious for your family. It’s your turn to return the favour. No more “rang main rangna” , rather let her shine in her own true colours.

Peace out.

Please note: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of mycity4kids. Any omissions or errors are the author’s and mycity4kids does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.

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