Started Again

Posted by Jitan Kaundal
November 17, 2017

NOTE: This post has been self-published by the author. Anyone can write on Youth Ki Awaaz.

After watching the movie… We went to the bar…

Where we usually sit and have our drinks and discuss our real problems.

He orders our normal menu: two large pegs of Royal Stag and with cheese chilly.

being Punjabi you can never settle for fucking 30ml pegs.

I asked the waiter for two Gold Flake sticks.

I lighted the cigarette and had my first sip from the glass. My cousin usually has the habit to drink the peg in one short.

alcohol became the medicine nowadays for opening up to the matter which you can’t share in the sober state.

he asked me what is the problem? Are you fine?

by the time I also had my first peg.. so I replied by taking one long puff of my cigarette.

yes bro, completely!

I Lied but that’s the only way to not get into the discussion again. because somehow I realized that It’ll heal with time.

he said… that’s now you gonna see another girl? which I replied I shall never.

he asks why?

I replied.. guys like me can’t handle girls. people nowadays who take a relationship seriously get hurt the most.

he replied… You are not that weak, are you?

You can’t lose that easily. See we are made to fall.. but we have to stand. We can’t control the failure but we can control how to rise again.
Take an example of me, when I and her had a fight and our families wanted us to leave each other we controlled our negative emotions and thought again that can we live without each other?
Everything was wrong. We didn’t talk to each other for 3 months still we managed to overcome our breakup and still together and even more close this time.

You should give another chance to yourself. I’m not saying that you should date someone immediately. But do some homework to improve yourself.
Give it a thought. Meet new people.
Can we repeat our pegs? He asked the waiter.

After having our two pegs. I started getting a little hazy. And I started thinking about what Money told me.
I guess he is right. I should not stick to the breakup. And try to move on.
We paid the bill and Came home.
It was already 11 pm.
I was thinking how to move on… With easiness.
If you get an honest support you grow up really fast. It helps you in moving on.
Tanya came to my mind. I thought I should talk to her. Maybe she can help me in forgetting my past.
But then I thought that it would be so mean to use her for my sadness.
But as I was in the drunk state now. I texted her.
What’s up?
The message was delivered but she may be in school.

I put my phone on the table. And put my arm on my forehead and started thinking…

And I realized I was rude to her.  She wanted to talk and I ignored her.  I started feeling a little guilt. when you drunk you usually overthink over a small thing.

I fall asleep thinking about this.

I felt thirsty in the mid-night I woke up to get some water. I went to the kitchen pour the water into the glass and after drinking, I come back to my room. and went to sleep again.

but my eyes went on my mobile I saw the led green was blinking. I took my phone It was a message from her.

hey was at school

It was already 3 AM here.

The message was received 20 mins back.

My mind was saying that she might be offline but heart said Just reply.

I thought of giving it a try. and texted her back “how was your day?”

but it was my night I guess… she immediately replied…

It was okayish.. you tell

I replied  “ Mine is just good… I was gone for a movie after that I went to a bar..

Ohh Nice Drunkard” she replied.

“But I’m in my senses…”   I told her

so why are you awake this late? missing your ex? she asks?

“No” I replied with confidence.

I was thinking about you... I added

she replied.. oh really?

yes, I replied…

i usually like being honest with people because I don’t know the game of being smart or fake.

so i told her that my brother and I was talking about how to move on from serious breakdowns.

so you are talking to me just to heal from wounds of your past.. isn’t it? she asked

I replied honestly replied maybe yes.

she then said it’s okay.. I just wanted to know you jayant.. and if talking to me will make easy for you to move on.. I’m always here to help you…

you’re at least being straightforward to tell me that…

this text from her again made me feeling relaxed that their are persons who still are having a big heart…

so I started the conversation with her…

me: yes so tell me about you from the starting.. everything I should know about you?

tanya: okay.. but don’t you think this will be boring?

me: yeah.. I guess so… and it’s already 3 here so we should not just bore the conversation..

you suggest some way so that i can know you.. and It’ll be interesting at the same time…

tanya: ummm.. Okay i have a game?

me: which game.. truth or dare? I’m not up for performing any dares at 3 am.

tanya: no.. not exactly.. but something like that.. but you need to be honest…

me: okay.. I’m almost everytime hoenest.. tell me?

tanya: okay.. the game is rapid fire?

me: okay.. so rules?

tanya: Turn by turn we will ask a question.. and we can not judge each other on the basis of our answers.

me: okay.. I don’t judge either ( I lied here.. I judged her for being a bad girl on that day)

tanya: so ask me?

me: okay.. what are your goals?

tanya: cummon jayant.. at 3 AM… no girl would like to answer that..

me: I’m clueless.. wat to ask?

tanya: okay.. I’ll ask you first five questions.. you reply me honestly.. and then you ask me?’

you’ll get some hint from this…

me: ask?

tanya: so tell me when was your first kiss and where?

me: at 16 at my ex-house…

tanya: okay.. when was you first fell in love and with whom?

me: with my English 9th class.. she was my crush.. lol I use to daydreaming about marrying her…

tanya: lol.. age differences must be the issue?

me: yes.. and she was married too..

tanya: awww.. it’s okay.. your favourite food?

me: all vegetarian Punjabi and Gujarati food…

tanya: you are vegan.. lmao..

me: yes.. the only non-veg thing I eat is pussy!

tanya: fuck you…

now you ask me…?

me: but 5 questions not done?

tanya: it’s okay.. you ask I’m running out of questions.

me: okay.. your favourite colour?

tanya: red and black..

me: red is mine also.. your favourite singer?

tanya: Adelle

me: hello…

tanya: yes that one..

me: do you drink or smoke?

tanya: no.. i smoked once but didn’t liked it..

me: okay.. when was your first kiss and where?

tanya: no repeated questions are allowed..

me: but you didn’t mention it in the rules tell me now?

tanya: oh my mistake! I forgot to tell you…

okay.. at 13 my house..

me: he was your boyfriend?

tanya: no.. my crush…

me.. okay.. are you virgin?

tanya: yes… till now.. i didn’t find the right one..

me: okay… and your favourite thing in making out?

tanya: cuddles.

me: except that?

tanya: blow job… i love it..

me: Ohh.. me too.. taking..not giving…

tanya: lol..

me: how many guys you have given the blow job?

tanya: you guess?

me: I’m really bad at guessing..and rn.. I don’t want to…

tanya: you want me to be honest?

me: yes… I don’t expect any lies. I won’t be judging you!

I already guessed the figure to 5-6 men.

tanya: no one..

me: i told you.. that don’t lie.. still?

tanya: i told you.. i didn’t found the right guy as of now..

me: how can you like something you never tried?

tanya: i like it..while i watching it.. deep throats… gaggles.. and tears..

me: fuck.. you are so wild.. come to india..

tanya: Ohh okay…soon

me: okay.. how many serious relationships you had till now?

tanya: one.. just one.. but that too was of just 1 month.

me: why?

tanya: that guy went to the USA for higher studies…

me: okay.. that’s it.. i am sleepy..

i’ll talk to tomorrow..

tanya: okay hon..

me: why “hon”?

tanya: idk.. i just I said.. won’t say it gain.. if you don’t like it?

me: na na.. its okay..

you also do some rest..

tanya: okay..take care..sleep tight..

me: yeah.. ill hug the pillow tightly thinking as you…

tanya: nice idea..

me: good night..bye

Tanya: bye!

I felt a sense of goodness… I was smiling… I liked this conversation.. she is nice.

I was wrong..she is not a bad girl…

I don’t know but I felt a strong connection with her…

Good night…

Youth Ki Awaaz is an open platform where anybody can publish. This post does not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions.