I don’t remember where exactly it went wrong. It’s time that dissolved everything so nicely that i can’t even see across the street from the window. Suddenly, the calm street turns into a river. Flowing backwards, it takes me to the point of divergence where it all started. Past always feels comfortable. Regretting over the decisions that were made under the foreign influence and impulsive confidence, i think of future as a wizard. May it come with the wand and relieve me from the chains of consequences of my decisions that had in toto been proven wrong. But that is again confusing because i get some sort of feeling that the man hoping and dreaming of a brilliant future is not me really. I used to be a totally realistic and reasonable man. Am i still ? But that is again confusing because i get some sort of feeling that the man hoping and dreaming of a brilliant future is not me really. I used to be a totally realistic and reasonable man. This daydreaming thing, I don’t know where did it had me. I used to believe in efforts and results, i still do but now a part of me always wants to lay alone with closed eyes and dream of a happy life instead of getting things done in the field to solve the problems really.
I used to be an introvert. Now i am an introvert pretending to be an extrovert. I used to hate parties and loudness and all the wild stuff they call cool. Still, i managed to make people think that i am totally into those things. Even the closest ones don’t know the reality. I crossed the lands of originality and sailed to the middle of the oceans of factitiousness. I thought i would be pretty. The cool breeze over the sea will be amazing. But i almost forgot about the return. I only planned the half voyage. Ignoring all the cautious advices, i hardly thought that there would be any trouble at all. It came to be known that it’s trouble being there itself. Now i have a heavy load of work. A new planning to do. In this fumbling boat, i would have to work on the return voyage, making sure it doesn’t flip over.