It’s not like we talk about masturbation a whole lot, like over tea and samosas. But you know what we almost never talk about when we talk about masturbation?
Women.
Jokes about masturbation are usually about guys. Even slightly more open sex-ed classes sometimes tell boys it’s normal to masturbate but just skip the topic when it comes to girls. When girls are told about sex it’s – “hai be careful you’ll get pregnant”. No one mentions, hey you’ll get turned on, so masturbation could be very, um, handy.
Why don’t we talk about girls masturbating? Because then we’d have to admit that women have, let’s see, what is it called – sexual desires and needs which are physical; and that women think of sex by itself, not only when they are in love. Masturbation is an important way in which we have a relationship with our selves and get to understand our sexual natures, fantasies and preferences. That’s the foundation of healthier and happier sex lives.
But when we don’t even acknowledge that women masturbate, then the fact that they have different preferences and fantasies becomes door ki baat. No wonder it’s not so easy to find porn that’s made for female desire, and not primarily men’s.
So, us Agents of Ishq decided, let’s come closer, get comfortable and discuss the topic of female masturbation. Let’s ask women about their masturbation habits and preferences. So, we did this AOI Female Masturbation Survey.
100 women responded. Here are the results of the survey.
On the few occasions female masturbation comes up, so do even more myths, discouragements and disguised hai taubas. It’s true. People are doubly uncomfortable with the thought of female masturbation. No one is sending women postcards from Masturbation Island with the words “wish you were here” scribbled on them!
Their squirms and squeamishness fell into five categories of messages – Denial, Voyeurism, Sexual Doom, Medical Disaster, Moral Outrage.
OK, so for any confusion remaining on whether women masturbate or not, and whether only love lights them up, let’s say confusion over? A third of the women said that they masturbated every day, and another third said twice a week. 16% said three to four times a week.
One person in our survey said she did not masturbate at all.
Matlab, just because you don’t talk about it, doesn’t mean women don’t do it.
How long it takes women to come depended on their bodies and natures and also their context – did they have enough privacy or not (which many don’t). But on average it’s different strokes of the clock for different folks, what’s there?
You’ve heard that old one no, “Women like erotica, men like porn.” Who knows what it means when one person’s romance novel is another’s porn and one person’s erotica is another’s yawn. A notable number of women did prefer to read but more than half preferred visual stimuli.
When it came to words, people leaned towards reading erotic novellas and passages. And literotica.com is every erotic writing fan’s free and endless fantasyland of possibilities.
80% of those who preferred visuals chose porn, while others relied on their own mind movies. 20% of those who preferred images, also preferred their own imaginations.
We found it quite beautiful that those who preferred their own imaginations made up a good 14% of the total number of people.
About 10% said they did not need anything or had precise preferences like thinking of an ex-lover.
People’s masturbation aids fell into three categories.
One was the organic method. 14% people preferred using what God gave them – their fingers – to masturbate. 24% preferred water – hand showers, jet sprays. That’s what we call good, clean fun.
The second category was ‘Invented’. So, vibrators and sex toys. But this pageant had a surprise winner – the old Nokia vibrating phone made several appearances on this survey! We have no idea why that company is not the market leader after this!
The final category was ‘Domestic’. Some people like to find a solution at home, and they ranged from traditional to inventive. They made up the largest number at 54%. A notable appearance was made by the toothbrush which 13% of this number employed (good clean fun again!).
The answers showed us one thing for sure. When she’s gotta do it she’s going to do it anywhere. People got horny in buses, trains and most of all in offices. Well, if you can’t get off work you may as well get off at work!
Many people had willfully masturbated in front of others. Some had done it while their roommates, siblings or relatives were sleeping next to them. Many had also been walked in on and the result was either shock or embarrassment or good old-fashioned desi denial – if you don’t say it I’ll pretend I didn’t see it.
People shared their funny or interesting masturbation stories with candour, humour, cringes and open-heartedness.
The experiences too fell into some categories – here’s a selection of the sweetest, funniest ones.
1. RUKAVAT KE LIYE KHED HAI / GIRL INTERRUPTED
2. ANIMAL LOVERS
Some people learned they love animals. Some people discovered their pets had opinions on them petting themselves.
3. ACCIDENT HO GAYA
Every now and then a mishap happened though none requiring odd explanations at the hospital.
4. SAB KUCH DIKHTA HAI
Sometimes people imagined they wouldn’t be seen and then were – often in unexpected ways.
5. COLUMBUS (THINKS (S)HE) DISCOVERED AMERICA
Some people considered themselves pioneers. Others unique.
6. IS ROUTE KI SABHI LINEIN VYAST HAIN – A COMPLAINT
Problem is problem. Where there is Ishq, there is complaint!
Check out our other surveys
What Indian Men Feel About Their Penis
Trying To Tell Your Parents You Are Sexually Active
Survey designed by – Roohi Bhatia
Survey analysed by – Paromita Vohra, Tanya Mishra
Graphics – Debasmita Das