Why I Decided To Break Free

Posted by Priyanka lamba in #BHL
November 24, 2017

Self-Published

Editor's note: This post is a part of #BHL, a campaign by BBC Media Action and Youth Ki Awaaz to redefine and own the label of what a 'bigda hua ladka or ladki' really is. If you believe in making your own choices and smashing this stereotype, share your story.

I am a 23 year old, who has always been a sore thumb. However, I didn’t want to acknowledge it. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I always knew I was unconventional. From being called milkybar/american/whitewash (apparently I was too fair) to being teased for my unruly curly hair I have heard it all. Gradually, as I grew the insensitivity of people appalled me. Name-calling people for trivial things is very common, but people don’t realise the impact it has on the person bearing it. Apart from the physical differences (I started to get massive acne around my teens, which again became a point of censure) I always had a point of view. In short I was too “aggressive”. In a society where everyone is conditioned to believe that one should fit the mould and follow the herd, a mere mortal is not allowed to rebel.

I tried my hand at being “normal” from trying to mix-up with people to changing my mindset but failed miserably. Gradually, I realized that I can’t keep everyone happy no matter what I do, people will find a way to judge and criticize me. I realized that the only person I should and can keep contented is me. 

There will always be people who are going to judge you even for the most trivial matters, whether you are fair or dusky, tall or short, fat or thin, reserved or outspoken, people will find a way to criticize you. I decided to break free of this vicious cycle of judging and being judged. I decided to be the master of my own will as it is always better to be an individual rather than a puppet.

 

 

 

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