I love you, I still love you.
These words always echo in my ears. I know u love me but why u ditched me why? Why u told me those lies which never took place in your life. Why u told me u got married, why?
Few years ago, We were in so much love, it felt like that this world revolved around us only. Arnab and me, we knew each other from our college time we were in the same class but had different subsidiary subjects. He was too good in English and always tried to correct me, sometimes I fought with him for correcting me coz I felt he was trying to prove himself superior to me. One day he came to me and asked me to teach him economics, and we started studying together till our exams ended. Things didn’t change it continued till the end of final year, and our friendship grew stronger n stronger in these years. Suddenly Arnab messaged me and asked me to come downstairs, when I reached there he went on his knees n proposed me and asked for a lifetime commitment, at that moment I was on 7th cloud, I could feel butterflies in my stomach, he asked me again “will you be mine forever” I said yes.
Time flew, we got selected in different companies and moved to different places from Bhopal to Bangalore and Ahmedabad. Arnab got settled in Bangalore and got busy with his work, when I tried to talk to him he had only one thing to say ‘I am busy talk to you later’. These things continued for months and months. He never tried to call me back once. An year passed, and I got a transfer to Bangalore and once again I called Arnab, this time his number was switched off. I broke into tears from last six months his number was either not available or switched off. After a week I reached Bangalore, I went to my hotel and got ready and visited Arnab’s office, finally I met him, we sat in the cafe and I asked him why he is not taking my calls? why his number his switched off?He told me one thing that he got married. I felt like everything is broken “pairo taale zameen he na ho”. I left that place and came to the hotel and broke into tears. Days passed but I am not able to forget him. I shifted with one of my office colleague to her apartment. Months passed, I’m still in that trauma that he married to someone else. I tried to get normal but my past haunts me, I’m broke, I’m not able to wake up for office, everything feels like it’s broke into pieces. I consult with Dr. and he told me I had a depression problem. I need to consult with Psychiatrist. I went to Bangalore’s City hospital to consult with the Psychiatrist, he called me thrice in the week and our first session was good. I felt so relaxed and these sessions continue for a month, at the end of the month when I visited to my Psychiatrist, he was not there so I decided to roam around the hospital, when I passed from one of I.C.U room I saw Arnab, first I thought I didn’t care but I care for him and moved to his room, one of his friend is there and he informed me that he is suffering from blood cancer and it’s a last stage. I’m shocked I don’t know how to react, his friend asked my name and just whispered Nandini..
He gave me the glass of water and asked to have a seat outside the I.C.U and he came there and take a seat there, and I asked him about Arnab’s wife, he told me he didn’t get married yet and I was like what”?? then, he told me everything why Arnab lied to me, I cried out loud and went to the I.C.U and sat beside Arnab,ans asked him why? I know u love me but why u ditched me why? Why u told me those lies which never took place in your life. Why u told me u got married, why? I decide to stay with Arnab in the hospital.
After few days, In the morning Dr called me Miss Nandini, i woke up and he told me he is no more…
Roopam Bansal