Do you remember me? Yes, I am that same December 16 girl. This has become my posthumous identity, ‘the paramedical student who got brutally gang raped by six men including a juvenile in a moving bus in the national capital of India’. The world remembers me as Nirbhaya, Damini, Jagruti, Amanat. Jyoti lost herself in all sense. Well, now I am here, in the nirvana, the abode of God, far away from the (in)human world. I am in touch with the world I belonged to. Trust me, I didn’t want to leave my world so soon and definitely not in the way I left. But my fate and God had something different for me which didn’t match with my life plans. Though I have left the human anatomy, I have failed to leave the human quest for understanding the world. So, here as well, from time to time, like any disillusioned human being I search for the answers to the questions ‘why it happened to me?’ and ‘what wrong did I do?’
I know, before me, you all have analysed the cause that led to the incident happen. But because it happened to me, give me a chance to analyse my situation. I am familiar to all the theories my people gave to describe my mishappening. Some of my people said that because I was out with a man (a boyfriend) in the night, I was bound to face that atrocity. I would have agreed to your words people if I have not heard about the case where a 15 year old girl got raped on the terrace of her own house where her mother and father were present but failed to save their child from the eyes of the perpetrator. So, I believe my idea of going out with my male friend could not be the reason to my condition. The next theory came with the ‘time of my outing’. I was out in the night, the time not suitable for any woman in the country to go out. My mother used to tell me to come before it is ‘dark’. All the girls must have been guarded by their parents with this advice. So, it means, to avoid getting raped, one must not step out of her house in the night. What justification would you give to the incident where a woman was dragged out of her office in the broad day light and was raped in Punjab? Next theory dealt with the style of my clothing. People say it could be the case that I was showing my curves which grabbed the lustful eyes of the perpetrators. This made me think twice. But before I could accept the analysis, I bumped into the news where a 28 day old girl got raped by a 25 year old man in Bulandsher. I asked what curve of a 28 day old baby led to the grotesque action of the man on her??? Also, I wasn’t walking nude. Sorry, but the concept of clothing didn’t click my mind.
What could be the other reason? Ufff!!! Well, now that almost all exterior reasons failed to give a concrete support to the actions of my perpetrators, let me just analyse the identity given to me by birth. So, it could be the case that I was a girl so I got raped. Agree all of you!? No no… hold on!! Here I read something. A 7 year old boy got repeatedly raped by his uncle. The same boy when turned 14 got gangraped by his friends. Also, a boy got sodomized in the school premises. Oops! The idea that ‘males can’t get raped’ gets a complete topsy-turvy here. So, all men there, you should not move out in the nights, cover your body in the best possible manner so that your dressing style won’t accrue any sexual feeling in the minds of your onlookers. You should also avoid going out with your girl friends. I know it is sounding extremely illogical, but then this is the advice given to girls to avoid getting raped. So, it is the time to give the same advice to the male members of the human society.
Being a girl is not the reason for my cataclysm. It gives a negligible impetus to the culprits to perform such actions. Now I am going to analyse the last aspect that could be the reason to my condition. The reason is that I was a human being. You all must have heard the saying ‘आज की दुनिया में इंसानों से ज्यादा राक्षस है!’ So, the devils in the guise of human beings can attack any human, इंसान ही इंसान का दुश्मन होता है! OH NO!!! The worst comes… Sorry for disappointing you my folks, but here comes the shock to this analysis, ‘a dog got raped by a man in Kerala’, ‘an injured cow got sodomized by a man in Tamil Nadu’. I can’t take it anymore. I know even you can’t.
So, again I have failed badly in figuring out the reason to ‘why it happened to me?’, ‘what wrong did I do?’ Do you know a reason. If yes, please let me know. I may have failed to get justice to the injustice happened to me. But, I still have the right to know the reason to my injustice. Help me finding it out!! Till then I am here, in the abode of God, safe and silent, but missing my life, my ambitions, my family, my friends, my people and my Jyoti!”
This is not just Jyoti’s quest for reason to this brutality but mine too. Our vulnerability to this grotesque reality has no limitations, no differentiation, no specificity. So, before it is too late, at least try finding out a concrete ‘reason’ to this ‘mishappening’.