Sex is a tabooed topic. Everyone wants to do it but not everyone is ready to talk about it. In closed isolated social circle of boys and girls and old men, sex is the most common topic to giggle upon, scandalize and gossip about but ironically if you put a mic in front of them and try to extract their opinion about sex, sexuality or sexual freedom you will end up with a foul-tasting cocktail of lusty smile, a sense of self-consciousness hopelessly mixed with tragic lack of opinion. I believe that Sex has been too much sexualized for a country like India which has the laurel of writing the first book on Sex – Kamasutra and patronizing the sculptures like that of famous Khajuraho temple. Dharma (duty), Arth (money), Kaam (sensual pleasure), Moksha (Liberation) has been considered as the four aims of life in Vedic Philosophy. So why is it we have started treating Sex like a modern lover treats her ex after a breakup – making fun of them in a closed circle, pretending to be their victim in public while stalking them in private?
We might have beautifully transformed ourselves into social animals in past four thousand years, but we have always found ways to get rid of human part whenever it came to satisfy our instincts to become animals which we were meant to be. Like any other animal, our basic instinct is to survive and sex is one way to do so even after we are dead. Sex is an activity we do for the survival of our species and anyone who asserts that it’s an egoist activity I would like to retract. What is after all so good about sex? Well from the standards of hygiene it’s one of the grossest act and from the point of view of labour involved it’s a really tiresome resulting in a painful childbirth. Who would want to indulge in that? Hence to keep us going a micro-moment of pleasure was attached to it by our body to entice us into believing that it’s a beautiful thing to do. So all this time while our mind was focused on that micro-moment of bliss, all our body wanted to do at that time was survive. For us, it was an act of cosmic joy but for our body, it was an act to help our species survive.
So if it is such a scientific process why we are not supposed to talk about it? If there is a term called sexual freedom then I guess our society is just an antonym of it. You cannot embrace your partner in public without getting conscious about it. Kissing is an act so contemptuous in India that it can bring you ignominy if done in public. And no sooner you utter the word ‘Homosexuality’ – people will be like – “why do they even exist?” “she uttered the word homosexual, she must be a gay.” Can we as a society be anymore incarcerated when it comes to sex?
We all have a girlfriend/boyfriend, except for the hopeless singles and supporter of the polygamous relationships. We all are having sex except for Catholic Christians and virginity pledges. So if we all are doing it don’t you think it’s a moral responsibility of the society to acknowledge it. By acknowledgment I don’t mean that you update a status on your Facebook explaining the feats of the last night’s battle. By acknowledgement, I mean an acceptance of the simple fact that yes we are humans and we are having a good time. No judgments required from your side.
We need to talk about Sex for a larger cause. Because unless the stigma attached to sex is not removed we will not be able to talk about the graver issues attached to it. We need to talk about Contraceptives and Condoms, Herpes and HIV, Pre-marital sex and PMS and of course Homosexuals, Bisexuals, Queers and Transgenders. Sexual health and sex-education are the topics to talk about.
In 1960s, in America, a Sexual Liberation Movement also called Sexual Revolution was introduced which challenged the traditional notions of sexuality and inter-personal relationship. I am not advocating that we need a revolution in India with the term ‘sexual’ affix to it (because if I will advocate it I probably might become the target of some self-acclaimed protectors of Indian ethos). I just want that there are some baby steps in the direction where sex becomes another topic under lifestyle column. A direction where an adolescent knows the difference between HIV, HPV an HSV infections. A direction where a homosexual is not ashamed of being what she is. And all of this ending up in a society where two people can kiss and be affectionate without fear of being ostracised, where two kids are not suspended from school for hugging (this happened in kerala, a few days ago). Sexual freedom is necessary for realizations of one’s true self.