Marriage is made in heaven….. (everyone) Awww..
But what nobody talks about is sometimes, it comes straight way from the boiling cauldron of hell in form of ARRANGED MARRIAGE.
When you cannot find Kabir Thapad to your Naina Talwar you end up with Mr. Kholi to your Lalita Bakshi (from Bale Bale Amritsar To LA).
What further remains untold like sex education in classes is that it happens in stages.
Stage 1 : Ab iski Shaddi Karwao or what I preferentially would like to call THE LIABILITY WALI INSECURITY
So basically in this stage the parents are more of ‘shaddi ki umar ho chali hai akal kab aayegi isse’ and in case you are like one of your mom’s ‘yeh jab log aayenge tab use karenge’ crockery (basically an introvert) well, then good luck because the guy they will send your rista at will be well let’s say chicken tikka in your vegan life and would be recommendation from your papa ke chacha ke dada ke mausere bete ke bhai ke ladke ki chachi ke fufe ke ladke ke mama !!
Still you will be subjected to all the nonsense teasing and scolding ‘kaam karma seekho warna saas maaregi, ladki ke chehre par yeh nikhar toh dekho’
If devil carries this news to your relatives and oh yes ! He will personally take care of the remix version that’s to be delivered in the message. Well then may the force be with you.
Like I said the rishta shouldn’t be born out of insecurity. It fails to pass the very first stage. That’s why you will now be promoted to the second stage.
Stage 2 : Isse bhi dekh lete hain but as per me DIDNT GET THE CALL BACK
Well some may consider this stage as do naav pe saawar still no dhulhe raja with barat. But let’s be realist for once, please.That was the first proposal !! Only Rajshri Production can do that kinda magic !! Though relatives would recommend you magical face powders, their secret weapon, along with unka call nahi aya and other farzi recommendations which paves the way for the next stage.
Stage 3 : Ladki mein koi doshh hai kya but you know by now i have something else in mind – THE BRIBE STAGE
Well you sent out the proposal to quite a few families by now. Okay its still around 5 proposals ! And things didn’t work out as planned. You are dishearten as well. Just wait for the night to cry yourself to sleep or maybe it’s just the uninterrupted instagram stalking that you looking forward to. Be what the denial reason you wanna accept but you will eventually little by little turn to BRIBING the Almighty. Vaishno Devi. 101 nariyal. And every possible totka you know that’s there under the sun. Because this ladki mein koi dosh hai, haye haye mangalik hai tinder kiya tha kya drives you to the nearest bar(in case you drink) or to the kitchen so that you can fix yourself hot coffee(never miss an opportunity like that) along with them non stop mantra enchanting.
Stage 4 : Aate daal ka bhav pata chalna as per me DONT LEAVE ANY STONE UNTURN
There he is. After all the abhi iske baaki doston ki shaddi nahi hui hai and no call backs. You know this time he is the one and you are like shit man !! Why did I choose vaishno devi ?
So woman, when you find your gem even in a theft shop make sure instead of thanking your stars you do your work on earth properly and get to know him and express your thoughts too. Don’t be in a hurry. Sit down. Get to know him. Let him get to know you. Because for Mr Kholi (not the famous cricketer. Gosh some bollywood please) ‘no life without wife but then you are sooraj barjatiya at heart.
You see, be it arranged marriage or love marriage is as good as ‘potato potaato.’
But don’t marry out of insecurity and self doubt. And hold on instead of strangling yourself. In order to make things happen you have to have faith in yourself. Its hard. Most toughest job indeed. But in the process don’t kill yourself to go to grave.
Above all make sure you make your saasu do the walk instead of the other way round. You know, in case she is a couch potato and you are a thepla girl.
– the girl still paints her nails with sketch pens.