By just adding two letters “W” and “O” to the term MAN such a strong word becomes so weak.
“Do thappad maar diye ya Do gaali de di to kya hua ? Pati hai wo apke.” – said a son to his mother.
The son studies Computer Applications and is in the second year of graduation and I wondered if he would say this I should expect something even worse from a person who have never been to a school.
The other day, I saw an elegant, middle aged, professor clad in an emerald colored silk saree, her hair fell on face as she walked hiding the bruise under her eye, her bangles making a soothing sound hiding the burns on her wrist and her nude lipstick perfectly matte hiding the cut swollen lips and her fine mineral foundation hid the tears.
I smiled, she smiled too. It looked like her smile could not compensate for her tears and the damage that caused.
“Of these, 25% cases are resolved mutually but FIR is filed in 5% cases. A majority of the cases are regarding dowry”, says A Counsellor at Women’s Cell.
“Beti Bachao Beti Padao” is the word in air, but these four words doesn’t seem to be as powerful as the not so important traditions of our country. “They send boys to good schools, they give them good food, nice clothes to wear, treats them well, they say that, Oh ! its my son; to the daughter they say, get the cow dung, sweep the floor, what will you do with education”, says a Women from a village in Haryana who was forced to abort her daughter.
The newly wed brides are harassed for not bringing sufficient dowry, she is taunted, even in the educated families this prevails, if the daughter is unable to get dowry, she will be either burnt alive or killed. The most frightening part of this is that women had to take the blame for what had happened.
I fail to understand what difference did education bring so far if it could not change these narrow brains. “My parents will cage me in the house if they would know I seeing somebody, on the other hand if my brother does the same, its fine”, says Sonal – a chartered accountant.
In 2012, a horrific incident in New Delhi, took headlines worldwide, a young women was brutally attacked and gang raped, and a few days after the attack she died of her injuries. Following this tragic event, a documentary called “India’s daughter” was released which tracked the incidents of rape culture within India, however, the government banned it saying that it went against many of the Indian cultures and morals and even members of parliament said at that time, it should be banned because it would lead to men feeling uncomfortable by the thoughts and actions that they had.
At a very young age, most boys and young men are taught that their highest value as a man is their ability to dominate, to control and to succeed at all costs.
Men who are trying to live in to be macho, put masculine traits on a pedestal and diminish and crush anything that is identify as feminine; but “Feminism is not the death of man”, says Sana, a blogger.
On New year’s eve this last December, in Bengaluru mobs of men took to the streets of the city, which ended up being the mass molestation of women who happened to be celebrating new year’s eve, these events were highly documented, there were videos and pictures shared on social media and was covered by papers and news channels but the government officials in India such as the police commissioner of Bengaluru refused to believe that any of these incidents has happened, in fact they completely denied that this happened. “These things happen and women should just accept it”, says a home minister, after the incident.
There are people in our lives who are supposed to make us feel safe, respected and protected who often turn out to be abusive and those people are your father’s, brother’s and husband’s. “My older sister was pulled by her hair, tortured and beaten up for having the audacity to step out of the house in a pair of jeans”, says a gym trainer.
Ever since they are born they are force to indulge themselves in the household work they are fed in their brains that they are burdens and that they shouldn’t have any dreams and aspirations of their own, but should only pray for their father’s well being and then their husband’s . “I was married to a man 15 years older than me when I was 12”, says Meena, a homemaker.
To arrange a marriage, you show your daughter’s to numerous men and whosoever agrees to take her home and demands lesser dowry becomes a match and this is socially accepted on the other hand if a girl is seeing a guy and wants to marry her that becomes a crime. You can let your daughter’s sleep with a stranger on her first night but not with a person she knows already. Is this what you call Indian culture ?
In Ramanyana, Sita undergoes an ordeal of fire by which she proves her chastity before she is accepted by Rama. On the other hand Yudhishthira puts Draupadi at stake as a bet for the game of dice loses; Draupadi without any fault was dragged by her hair to the court and was disrobed. These epic tales has a great reach and played a major role in shaping the mindsets of people in India.
Similarly Bollywood plays a vital role too. “I went to stores and I was greeted differently than my male partners and whenever I went to temples or shopping malls, dozens of men would stare at me without losing focus, I saw this in Bollywood movies only” says Victoria, an English visitor. After learning about the recent rape cases I do not plan to come back to India ever, she adds.