At times,I do come across things which stuck me for that moment but right next moment I move ahead. A faint remembrance,though exists and years after years gets accumulated. It is impossible to recount all those singularly, but I guess now I have a somewhat integrated image of all till date.
So, for the ease of recall, listed salient features of the picture are
-None of theses incidences/things happened directly to me or my significant others.
-I was not the only bystander cum mute eyewitness but one among countless. Yeah, maybe one in more than a billion.
-Like almost everyone there , I was also following what I am brought up with; simplified as ‘when you sniff anything critical, make your way anyhow, walk with a straight nose and get away. No need to cause unnecessary hassle of staying & struggling to be a part of change, and yes thinking of being a lone changer is a big NO’.
-Another gem of concerned upbringing is in picture,put all the experiences in locker of freud’s ‘unconscious’ classification of mind, add a twist to it, loose the key for ever and never let the unconscious awake, never, not even for a second.
-In each case, I had one deep rooted reason,don’t get in trouble! Focus should be on promoting your worldly rank.Once you climb a stair up from where you are now, your miseries are going to get reduce. Be in the mice race throughout your life and then systematically, diligently pass it on to others, especially to those with your genes!
-Another constant element, curse and criticize in all your might but don’t dare to step up for any change.
I can go on but these were few important ones. No doubt many other share this picture in their respective minds maybe with slightly customized edition. After all it is similar to that of classic literature,everyone has some, no one bothers to read a line(or very few), still somehow manage to fake an appreciation for it.
Now with this line, I started thinking why am I penning it down! Am I bored because its 4:15 in morning and am not sleepy and since it is chilly cold and dark outside and I don’t possess the option to go out, social media is not appealing right now and I am not in mood to start reading a new book .God knows what make sense as an apt reason! Maybe I want to sound cool or maybe writing just for the sake of handwriting( yeah! I still write with paper pen) .Probably ‘sharing with or without caring’ feeling suddenly evoked and to satisfy the instinct my pen fell for the diary.
Whatever may be the correct explanation, one thing I am firm about is that what is said, is said honestly. Again my logical side starts asking “but why ?” I mean I don’t have a cure for this ‘witness, forget, move, ASAP’ syndrome, neither am I conducting a research for one, but I feel the need of acknowledging it.No matter how horrible it feels, whatever amount of guilt it produces or by what degree it raises the helplessness quotient but it is must to acknowledge, that’s least I can do.
Who knows one fine day, I wake up with an awakened unconscious!