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The ‘Non-Virgin’ Girl And The Gynaecologist

“It’s not good. You should not get involved in such activities before marriage. That’s why you people suffer.”

These were the piercing words of the gynaecologist, when I told her that I am sexually active with my fiancé. I was suffering from a bacterial infection for the past two months. After trying every possible method I could find on the Internet to get rid of the annoying problem, I finally decided to go to a gynaecologist.

My mother, being a doctor herself, is friends with almost all the doctors in the small city I live in. The fear that she might find out that I am not a virgin, prevented me from involving her in this. And the fear that she might find out that I visited a gynaecologist, made me go to a remote hospital outside the city.

My boyfriend (yes, I lied to the doctor that he is my fiancé) accompanied me to the hospital, and in fact, went inside the doctor’s cabin with me. I described my problem to the doctor, and she asked me if we were sexually active. I said yes. And her facial expression suddenly transformed to one filled with disgust. Next, came those words that were filled with judgement about my personal choice – as if the problem would not have occurred if I were married. I wonder how much worse her reaction would have been if I had told her that he’s my boyfriend

I felt uncomfortable and wanted to give her a fitting reply. But I didn’t. After all, I wanted a cure for my problem, not an argument with her. She asked me some questions regarding the symptoms, to which I could not answer properly because of the hatred-filled tone she was constantly using. Ultimately, she didn’t even examine me, but prescribed a few medicines. She wrote about one medicine on a separate slip, stating that usually such a medicine is not prescribed to ‘virgins’.

I came out from the torture session, thinking “what the hell was that.” I completed the medicine course, but the infection kept on recurring, making me suspect that my problem was wrongly detected, because of the lack of any examination that was required to be done, to confirm the cause of the infection. Yet, I avoided going back to the doctor, or any other doctor because of the mental torture I might have to face again. And, I am still suffering and searching for a better doctor to go to.

Isn’t it the doctor’s job to make a patient feel more comfortable so they can openly talk about their problems? How does someone’s personal choice and marital status give anyone the right to pass a judgement or tell us what is morally right or wrong ? Isn’t it the right of every patient to get proper treatment, irrespective of whether they are married or unmarried, virgin or not a virgin?

We are living in the 21st century, but our society is still regressive, especially for girls. Doctors need to keep their personal opinions aside and opt for a more professional approach in dealing with their patients. So many girls out there suffer, but avoid going to doctors just because they made a personal choice and did what they felt was nothing wrong. The society is enough for moral policing, at least the medical fraternity should not be judgemental towards the patients or the victims.