The Depressed Odiya Lawyer

Posted by Azad D in Mental Health, My Story, Specials
February 22, 2018

“Mu ta janini ai jiban kauthi nei jiba sabu alua au andhakar dekhei.” (I don’t know how brightness and darkness shown to me will lead to consequences in this life)

Being trained as a lawyer, you are always giving legal solutions to your clients. However, there are cases in your life where such laws are totally worthless. The feeling of being helpless or worthless in life doesn’t get solved by any law whatsoever.

How do you approach any such problem by interpreting any legislation or filing any petition or application before any judicial authority?

It’s the laws of life which are not coded or written down clearly to find solutions to such problems. Even the existence of laws is questioned when you are in a state of mind which doesn’t match with the people around you.

The spark of happiness around you doesn’t seem to extinguish the fire of sadness inside you. But you carry on with the hope that everything will be fine with you in due course of time.

A sad state of affairs in India where mental illness is never looked at as a disease or proper help being offered at the right stage. A conversation which still haunts me is what I had with a counsellor for suicide prevention in the dead of night – ‘You are not having your medication properly, that’s why you have suicidal thoughts. Next time have your medication properly and everything will be fine.’ And the call was disconnected!

How do you explain such incompetence in someone who is supposed to help people at their lowest ebb?

This explains the state of affairs where people (in general) take up various jobs in India. We take up jobs that might not be corresponding to our passion and the same somehow leads to unintended consequences in someone else’s life.

But the question still remains, are you happy with yourself?

– Azad