It was the dusk of March 8th. I woke up, unlocked my phone and, like each year, my social media world were flooded by the messages and pictures featuring The International Woman’s Day wishes. Some had put up Snapchat & Instagram stories while some were palavering about the same on one or the other such platforms. Watching all of this in silence, I went into a series of thoughts and some questions aroused out of me. Does it really make a difference? Do they really give a damn about the heap of things they are trying to project?
That was the point when I decided to observe each person in my contact list for the entire day and then present my point of view a day after. I observed some of my ‘pervert’ friends on talking about respecting the women on Whatsapp groups. I looked at some of my acquaintances who were blabbering about momentous things like Women Empowerment, Gender Equality and things like that while in real life, unfortunately, they were quite the opposite. I even saw woman talking about all of this while in real life they don’t treat men and women equally. This forced me to write something up. “A ten point guide to respecting woman and men”, I thought, “Five for Men and five for women because both the sides need to mend their ways.”
So here are the ten things I want every guy and girl to follow if they want to see every gender empowered and equalized.
- Don’t stare. I have seen men staring at women for no reason. I, seriously, am not able to figure out what they get when they stare at them whenever a woman passes and continue to do it until she’s out of sight. Guys, please dont do it. Just imagine someone doing it to you and you’ll realize how creepy it looks. You want to look the women, internet is there for you. Calm your tatas there.
- Don’t harass them on the internet. This is the most common harassment phenomenon these days. Sometimes,Boys, if you want to approach her because you like her, just send her a request and a message. If she reverts, then congratulations. If she doesn’t, please don’t start sending texts like “please reply’ , ‘I want to meet you’ , ‘kab tak sataogi, kabhi toh aaogi’, ‘dedo na………apna number’ , ‘Show me your b**bs’ , ‘Send me nude pics’. Trust me, I’ve seen such messages on my friends’ inboxes. Messages like these degrade all the men there are. Its due to these men that the men with good intentions get bashed sometimes. So please guys, “NO MEANS NO”. Moreover, online harassment is a punishable crime and by doing this, there’s no way that you’re getting anything from her apart from a tight slap or a ‘Jutti’.
- Look them in the eye. While you talk to a woman, don’t let anything distract you. Don’t stare at their bosoms as it makes them hell lot of uncomfortable. Just imagine someone talking to you while he/she’s looking towards your abdomen. I’m already getting a bizarre feeling outta this.
- Never take an advantage of the situation. This is really important one. You may find yourself in situations when you can easily do things that shouldn’t be done to a woman. That is the time when your real face is unmasked. So, in such situations, calm yourselves, think about what’s right and then proceed. Mistakes committed in the heat of the moment can have consequences that can haunt you for life.
- Don’t judge instantly. Its 2018 and each one of us needs to grow up. We, the Indians, no matter what age group do we belong to, judge people just by looking at them. For us, a girl who smokes and has inked skin is a hippie, a girl who is a divorces her husband is a witch and a girl who roams around in small clothes or walks hands in hands with male friends is a slut. We need to change this mindset right now. Till the time we grow up our minds and stop this shit talk, we won’t be able to flourish as a modern and globalized state.
- Stop treating every other guy as a pervert. Living in three big cities and several small towns of our country, I have observed the same mentality among girls towards every guy that approaches them. Trust me girls, you don’t need to shout ‘Ghar mein maa behan nahi hai kya?’ or ‘Kabhi aaiyne mein shakal dekhi hai apni?’ to every other man. Take a chill pill and handle it with respect if he comes. If you think he is going over the board, I’d be happy if you use a pepper spray on him or kick him between the two legs. Although, girls in the big cities have moved on from such things but majority still remains on the darker side.
- If you wanna be equal, reject the privileges. The women themselves have to work for that. If you want to be treated equal, this is the only way that you can. Start standing in the queues, stop looking at others for seats in a transit and start working to be independent. Start paying bills for yourselves and stop expecting males to handle money and buy things for you. I promise, if such things happen, the change will soon be visible.
- Don’t live in fear. Speak up for yourself and scream out loud if required. The women in our country before recent times have been in a state of oppression. They were always regarded as a weaker gender and women have been victim to domestic assault, sexual harassment, mental harassment etc. This used to happen because there were no sources of media to project their story in front of everyone but the modern India is a different India. With the excellent progress towards women safety, we have women helplines, NGOs, social media and many other platforms where women can report the misconduct and the culprits can be prosecuted under law. Even in such times, many women in our country live in fear and don’t speak up for whatever they face but if proper awareness is spread across the country and the women be enlightened, the good days will definitely come.
- Don’t be shy and break the gender stereotypes yourself. Every adult knows that women get periods every month but still its a topic that’s never discussed. The girls, in several places, are even barred from entering kitchens and temples while they’re on their menstrual cycles. The male members of the house are never asked to buy sanitary pads as its a taboo. Even basic things like breastfeeding in public or buying a bra in front of men is termed as indecorous. Its not the men who have the power to break this stereotypical line of thought but the women themselves. If women in all the parts of the country, with the support from male community, take an equal stand with zeal, the country will see the light of the day soon.
- Never Dominate. This is a common approach among Indians that one person or the other should be dominant in a relationship. Women and men keep on fighting for it and amid all this, bad things happen. I believe both the genders deserve equal respect and should treat each other equally rather than expecting an upper hand. Ego clash always results in bad results. So maintain a self respect and don’t go beyond or above that. This point is equally applicable to both the genders and they should keep that in mind.
The other Genders: While we guys talk about the gender equality, we consider two genders to be equal while we have equal apathy for the third gender. The LGB & Transgender community has always been considered as ‘queer’ community and despite getting rights from the government, they are not treated as equal among public. We should understand that even they have a heart and they need to be treated with same respect as us. So next time you see a transgender person, don’t freak out, pass a smile and if possible, give a hug. I assure you, it’ll make your day.
Just remember one thing no matter what
“YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL”
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