By Riya Dharne:
Hi,
I am 16 years old. The last six months have been the hardest six months of my life – and I say so because when you love living, you want to overcome all challenges in your life and achieve things, even if you don’t really want to put that into action. But when it is overwhelming to just make it through another day, loving life is hard.
Depression and anxiety can eat you away day by day – with nobody around you, including you yourself, being able to realise it. Coping can be really hard, and it becomes worse when you discover ‘unhelpful’ ways to do so, like self-harming. It only made things worse and frightened me even more.
I did not want anyone else to see those scars, and I took to wearing full sleeves even during the warmest of days. I realised that I was scared of getting better, of being out there in the world again, of leaving my cocoon.
I really did not want to live, and the misery seemed never-ending. But I decided to give life another chance, and give myself another chance.
When we are depressed, we tend not to want to be around other people or seek support, but that is something we need.
Something that I found worked for me was setting an aim. I know – at times, it’s hard to like doing anything at all, even the things that we used to love doing. That is why it’s important to take a moment and think about what you really need to get done, why you should do it and how that will make you feel better. This could be exercising, studying, giving more time to family and friends, etc.
You can even make a chart of things to wake up for, things you might enjoy doing – watching the sunrise, listening to music, maybe even food that you want to gobble! Put that up on the wall in front of your bed, so you see it first thing when you wake up and can look forward to living that day.
I know speaking about what you are feeling can be scary, but it is necessary so that you can get the help that you need.
Mental illness or even self-harming for that matter is not a sign of weakness or personal failure – and don’t let anyone tell you that it is.
Lastly, I know getting through is hard. You might not even feel like living the next day, but deep down, you know that you want to. The world is too big, and there is so much to see, and we really can’t see it all in one lifetime. But surviving is worth it! I promise you, you have lots of good moments ahead of you, waiting for you to unfold – do not let them go!
This piece was originally published here. For more stories about mental health and young people’s experiences, visit www.itsoktotalk.in