After two years, nine months and 27 days, the flashback of the worst day of my life comes floating in front of my eyes with the demise of another doting mother, Sridevi. I can’t stop myself from going through all the articles and videos available on the Internet related to this unfortunate mishap.
Jhanvi, this is the time of inexplicable pain and grief and I won’t ask you to be strong. Don’t hold your tears back. Instead, shed them, cry for the loss you have faced but let your tears not become a sign of your weakness amidst the crowd surrounding you. Be strong, so that no outsider will need to intrude in your family matters.
You three still have to sail a long way. The way things have happened in a matter of hours wouldn’t have given you enough time to let the entire incident sink in. Right now, you would just be following the words of the kin around you, failing to understand what’s exactly happening. A lot of whys and hows would be cluttering your mind. Though you will see the entire population gathering for the mourning, you’ll still feel like the loneliest person in the crowd.
Deep in your heart, you will still be wishing that somebody that comes and says that it’s a prank, that you will see your mother smiling at you, more widely than ever. Without waiting for a second, you will want to rush towards her and hug her tight, tight enough so that no force in this universe can pull you both apart his time, not even the Almighty Himself. But if only God were so kind.
Those meaningless lines like “Few voids can never be filed”, a mere compilation of English words till now, will suddenly have started making sense to you. It will take years to come in terms with this mishap. I would say just be happy for her and don’t cry, because trust me, she is happy in her new abode and she will definitely send some angel to take care of you three.
You will still want to wish for her to come back and answer few of your questions like: What should you do in your life next? Any message that she would have wanted to share? Or those stupid questions like: Where are the cupboard keys kept? How to manage dad when he is angry? But to our dismay, those will remain unanswered forever.
The crowd will go back to their homes and in a few days, all the near and the dear ones will be engrossed in their daily business. Somewhere in the daily hassle, this memory will take a backseat in their minds. The media will hog over some other breaking news. But you three, being the real sufferers, will still have to try and figure out how to keep going.
Jhanvi, the onus is on you now to step up and take care of Khushi and Boney ji. Be firm as a rock and bring back the happiness in your house. Remember her with a smile, for all the beautiful things she has done. No doubt – she was an adorable mother. Make sure you continue following her advice.
Such is life. It gives us things we can’t imagine. But the same life fills us with vigour enough to keep moving even after facing such storms. Without a mother, life is like an aimless ship moving in the sea. It’s never the ‘right’ age to lose our mom. I am still waiting for one day, when I will find the purpose again to live jovially and not just survive.
God is unfair. If only I could see Him… fight with Him for all the unfair decisions He takes.