Deepika, Anil, Satish, Kamini, Sahil, Karishma, Pankaj…
According to the laptop clock, it is 0017. Tossing and turning in bed. Despite being the 18th day of November, it is extremely hot and a suitable blanket or quilt is hard to find. Should it be the furry one or the nice rosy one or the sheet or a combination of all three or a pair? The permutations and combinations are going awry. Should the jacket be worn or the t-shirt or a pyjama or shorts or just your underwear?
Neeru, Neelam, Nirmala, Vikram, Ritik, Renuka, Roshni, Raunika…
That is an urgent problem to consider. The mind cannot go there. Bringing it back to the problem at hand, choose the clothes, choose the quilt, hey did we forget about the fan? And, oh, the speeds? The wonderful solutions coming to the mind, to be tried and rejected and tried and rejected. And if that is not enough, the opening of the windows and the doors, good lord there are two, and the positioning of the mattress can all be debated upon. So many variables, gee! What a complex problem.
Rakesh, Kunal, Bhavesh, Lalit, Kaushik, Kamlesh, Meenakshi, Yogesh, oh Mamta…
No, stop. This is easy, this is important, sleep must be had, otherwise, how will work happen? We need to sleep in the proper temperature. In the here and now, they said. Tomorrow is a new day. Of the 690 days of them. It will be thought about tomorrow, see, in fact in a few hours, already closer to the solution, we are.
Archana, Ansh, Nikhil, Geeta, Shilpa, Sheila, Suhani, Monika, Sita, Vishal…
It is getting harder to control. The mind keeps going there. A single tear escapes the eye. Deepika’s mother ties her with a rope on the days she keeps her in the room, when she is lucky, otherwise nights are spent outside under the bridge or in the school building. Her Aadhar card is not available, so she is not liable for benefits under the Palanhaar Yojana. Maybe we can put her in the Muskan Sansthan orphanage? The teacher suggests. She is well-meaning and concerned. It is terrible. There is gravity.
Deepika, Anil, Satish, Kamini, Sahil, Karishma, Pankaj, Neeru, Neelam, Nirmala, Vikram, Ritik, Renuka, Roshni, Raunika, Rakesh, Kunal, Bhavesh, Lalit, Kaushik, Kamlesh, Meenakshi, Yogesh, Mamta, Archana, Ansh, Nikhil, Geeta, Shilpa, Sheila, Suhani, Monika, Sita, Vishal, Vishnu, Vikesh, Yamini, Bhavya, Preeti, Tina, Harshvardhan, Vipul, Jigar, Tamanna, Chirag, Khushboo, Kavita, Krishn, Hardik, Ajay, Sahil Hadat, Sahil Parmar, Ishwar, Vanita, Prakash,
But, Tamanna does not get enough to eat. Kunal has a mental health issue. Neelam’s father beats her. Sahil recently broke his bones, or was that Rohit? Subhash is bullied for his apparent femininity. Prakash has turned to substance abuse because there is no one at home. Pooja hardly ever sees her father since half of his life has been spent in living in Mumbai working as a waiter. Mamta does not have a place to go home to after her parents died. The other Mamta is too scared to go home because of the questions they ask about her school which cannot take care of her needs of slow-paced learning. Ashok has quit his school to run a sugarcane juice stall in Ahmedabad. I don’t even know all the stories. But I know this, none of them have enough. Every situation has gravity.
Is it possible to multiply gravity?
In the field, after some days there comes an immunity that shrink-wraps the brain from going insane – there are complacent mental boxes for ‘solution-oriented’, ‘pragmatic’, ‘change leader’, ‘bright spots’. Every box is lived with, every day.
But nights become difficult.
At the Gandhi Fellowship, you are often asked to write reflective articles. The buzzword right now here was ‘self-change’. I think, some nights, I am able to get out of the box and think if all my actions are directed towards improving their lives.
They are not.
But it is okay.
Tell yourself that the solutions will come. As long you are with the problem.
Sleep now, the temperature is alright. You did well today.