Growing up in boarding school, I spent many school skirt-wearing months being ashamed of the hair on my legs. Matters became worse when I went to a parlour during a vacation, and the parlour wali aunty took one look at me and said, “Bohot mard jaise baal hai, na? (Your hair is like a man’s, na?)” Going ahead, for months, I tried my best hiding my ‘mard-ness’ as much as possible. And over the years, I have heard and read many similar stories from friends and women on the Internet – all of whom were taught what it means to have a ‘womanly body’, be a ‘good girl’, and a lot of more burdensome lessons.
Deepa Narayan’s book, ‘Chup’, took me back to all of these lessons and memories, with revealing accounts of young Indian women being taught to be ‘good’, ‘obedient’, and of course ‘chup’ (‘quiet’). Through shocking and often saddening and relatable interviews, Narayan writes about how women are almost ‘trained’ to be invisible, in a world that’s afraid of their body, their sexuality, their voice, and their identity. It’s the perfectly unsettling read that patriarchal India deserves – the one that calls women ‘bigdi hui’ for making their own choices.
Biting in its commentary, it lays out ‘rules’ for women to be acceptable in Indian society. It tackles taboos such as menstruation, female virginity, masturbation, sex and more – proving in its many examples how the stigma impinged upon women cuts across geographies and classes. It does get slightly lengthy and repetitive at times, but all the narratives show the looming hypocrisy and paradoxes amidst which girls are raised in India. Girls must go to school, but not get too much freedom; they must study, but never about sex or their own bodies; they must earn money and be independent, but not more than their male partners.
Narayan’s writing style is suitable for her audience, and hits right where it hurts – too close to home. She makes a convincing argument about why our fight for equality is progressing, but not even close to where it should be. The best part is that her characters are all real – their stories serve as an essential reading to understand the 21st-century Indian feminist movement, especially when news of sexual harassment in educational institutions and workplaces is being spoken about like never before. However, the homogeneity in all the voices does make the book slightly labourous and as a reader, I did wish it had more diverse voices, especially from rural India. While the author makes it evident that the book focuses on middle and upper-class India, there’s a certain sense of incompletion I was left with as a reader.
‘Chup’ is a book I’d recommend to all my friends – it has the power to urge the reader to look at the world with a slightly more empathetic lens. Chapters from the book are also good as essential reading in schools and colleges. If you’re a teacher reading this, do try.
True to its title, ‘Chup’ holds a mirror to every Indian woman – and unlike its title, it breaks the silence that patriarchy thrives in, in quiet a gloriously threatening way.
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Chup: Breaking the Silence About India’s Women (Juggernaut) is available now. Buy it here.