Widow, but a Human

Posted by Swami
April 26, 2018

May a man live well and long enough to leave many joyful widows behind him.- Roman Payne

As there is no other day more happy than the day when a girl gets married, similarly there is no other day more gloomy than the day when that married pretty girl loses her husband and becomes a widow.  Widow, how can we define this word? A post, a designation, a relationship status on facebook or better say a stigma on Indian women. Whenever we hear this word, a clear and exact picture comes in all of our mentality. A lady who is quite simple and remains quiet most of the times, a lady who has to think many times before laughing or even smiling at any convos or jokes and a lady who unwillingly compels herself to forget how she used to look in those bright coloured dresses. This makes a general definition of the widow but such a short description of the word with a very deep meaning would not be justifiable to the definition itself. In actual, above are the normal or basic restrictions for a widow but if we look further we will find that there exists many other groundless and unreasonable kinds of constraints too in their lives. Things are not that hard if it happens with a woman at an appropriate age. Yes, there is no correct time for such a mishappening in anyone’s life but if it happens at an old-age, when a woman spends most of her life with her partner then the circumstances and situations are bit lenient but if it occurs with a girl who has just started her menage then her life becomes no less than a hell. Every next person put their eyes on how she is talking, how she is walking, where is she going, what she is wearing and even on what she is eating. People who have nothing to do with her life in past suddenly start worrying about her future and within no time they make her realise that “No husband is equivalent to no life.”May because of this illogical belief system like SATI was practised in our country. Thanks to Raja Ram Mohan Roy for the abolishment of this absurd custom. But do you really think that by the abolishment of these kinds of practices, the problem gets its complete solution? The answer is obviously a NO, a very big NO. I recently read an article published in Times of India. It was about widows of Deoli-Bhangiram, a village in Rudraprayag district of Uttarakhand, dubbed as “village of widows” after 2013 Kedarnath deluge which took the lives of 54 men from that village among which 32 were married. Now after 4 years, widows of these men can’t hope to pick up the pieces of their lives and contemplate marrying again due to the stringent social norms prevalent in their village. Now I am not understanding what was the fault of those women if their husbands died. They have their entire life to live ahead and in which they need a partner to support her in her each and every step. As Swami Vivekananda said-

Rishi, Muni or God- none has the power to force  society. When he needs of the time press hard on it, society adopts certain customs for self preservation.

Indian constitution also gives the same fundamental rights for a widow what it gives to others even in addition it provides a special right to a widow i.e. “The Hindu Widows’ Remarriage Act 1856.” Now since the constitution itself permitting a widow to get married then there is no society who have the power to make any norms against this law. Sorrow for a husband is like a sharp pain and to recover that pain one definitely needs someone’s shoulder to put her head on. In spite of moving with a board written “Beware- Don’t upset a widow” bring that someone to her who heals her every wounds and pain. And don’t think she would not become able to move on from her ex-husband because every single second teaches her a new lesson and it’s never too late to start over.