“Please send her to my house for puja as soon as she wakes up,” I heard someone talking to my mom in the other room. I tried to look at the time; it was 7 am. I dozed off again. After a few minutes, I heard the neighbour talking to my mother. “At mother’s place, you are entitled to sleep for as long as you want, no matter if you are a kid or have kids!” The waft of desi ghee drew my attention — it was Durga Ashtami. Mom was cooking kaale chane and halwa. She told me half of the neighbourhood had already come to invite my daughter for kanjak, the younger form of Goddess Durga.
We were performing puja when suddenly the doorbell rang and someone came with another invitation. I gleefully agreed to send my daughter for puja. It was the first time for her to attend such festivity at someone else’s house. She enjoyed all the attention and had fun with the other girls. Another one of the neighbours came to invite both my daughters. Durga Ashtami requires nine young girls who represent the nine forms of Goddess Durga, and one young boy, representing Lord Hanuman.
I was happy to see my child enjoying the day, but deep inside, I still remembered all the scathing remarks when she was born. The pity in their voice when they congratulated me half-heartedly was still fresh in memory. Their words that girls were not less than boys seemed insulting to me. Born in a liberal family, no one ever differentiated between me and my male cousins. I never felt I was less than a boy in any way.
It was painful to see the hypocrisy of us Indians. We want a girl for Durga Puja, the only condition is that the girl should belong to someone else. It’s not only the uneducated people, the educated, so-called upper class has similar beliefs. A state, famous for producing female wrestlers, is also infamous for its skewed sex ratio. The land where the Gurus gave a stature to a woman above the kings, leads the country in foeticide.
It is traumatic to read news of rapes, molestations, acid attacks on a daily basis. It is an irony that in the land where goddesses are worshipped, women do not have any safety or free will. Why as a society can we not see men and women as humans, each deserving of love, respect and dignity? Why is a boy preferred over a girl?
Watching my girls play with gifts they got during the puja, my heart wept for all those girls who were not even allowed to be born, and the ones who were deprived of all the love and affection which is given to boys in their families.
I just hope that someday the new-generation parents will understand the importance of all genders in society, and we will be able to give a better and safe world to the coming generations of our girls.